Drowning like a fish out of water

She's all mine, and I can't wait to get my hands on her.

2010-08-30T20:34:00.000-07:00

It was costly, but I finally did it. After ultimately resigning myself to the fact that in no time soon will I have a home where I can own an acoustic piano, I went on a mission (not a small time thing) today, and ended up buying this nifty Yamaha P-90. It will be my first digital. Weighted keys like an acoustic, and a Yamaha grand piano sound. I'll be trying to re-learn my old skills in style!

I'm seriously super excited to get this thing in the mail. I should probably invest in a decent pair of headphones, too, so I don't piss off my upstairs neighbor...

Don't need nothin' but a good time.

2010-03-28T13:10:00.001-07:00

Except I'm at home cleaning. Always so many things to tinker with and get organizized; always so little time (and many potential distractions).

I think '80s hair metal bands make for excellent driving and general get-shit-done music, and thus perfect for cleaning the ol' apartment. I also highly suggest cleaning while listening to Rock & Roll from the 1950s. It almost makes chores fun!

I should get back to work, as I sing along with (and try desperately not to air-guitar to) Skid Row's "I Remember You."

Oh, shit. Winger's "Can't Get Enuff" just started playing. My neighbors are gonna love my Kip Winger impression! "HUUUH!" :P

Flashback

2010-03-21T19:02:00.000-07:00

I found a dry-erase board that I made out of a sheet of metal and some paint, except it turns out that it didn't work well as a dry-erase board. I was going through my closet, spotted it, briefly thought about trashing it finally, but then remembered why I had kept the damned thing in the closet for the last few years. My former partner wrote a poem on it one night while I was working. It still makes me laugh. Call it sentimental value.

My boyfriend makes gay porn
It makes him cranky and forlorn
He does it every day and night
And even until the morning light

My bed is awfully cold
Without him in it, truth be told
I have only my pillow to hold on to
Our warm embraces are far too few

He forgets to eat, and never rests
He starts to treat our cats as pests
I think the porn has destroyed his brain
The work has become an unbearable strain

But, alas, I love him even still
Through all this time, I always will
Though I am second to gay porn
I know his heart is never torn

I know he loves me very true
And that he misses me, too
I know one day I'll have him back
Take that, you gay ball-sack!

I no longer work in porn, gay or otherwise. Unfortunately, I also no longer have the girl. C'est la vie. :p

The sweetest perfection to call my own.

2010-03-06T13:13:00.000-08:00

Perfection is sometimes much easier to achieve than you'd think. I have a hard time finding better scrambled eggs than ones I make myself. So simple, and so satisfying.

The keys are: very low heat, real butter, and none of that pre-mixing business. Just "scramble" them in the pan as they're cooking, and be really careful not to overcook. Easy!

Make it stop!

2010-01-23T16:08:00.000-08:00

Someone was just now outside sweeping and whistling the chorus to "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye" like a songbird.

I can think of few things quite as annoying right now. The songbird whistling and choice of tune, not the sweeping.

AUUUGH! It's atrocious!

Even more so than the Punisher War Zone movie I rented the other night. I still can't believe that excessively violent (in a bad way) pile of crap was directed by a woman. Crazy! ;)

Kids are funny.

2009-12-29T11:41:00.000-08:00

I overheard my six-year-old sister telling my dad that she wants to marry me. She's learning two languages, learning ice skating and kung-fu, she digs books, Transformers and Jackie Chan movies, and she puts ketchup on her Chinese food. Given the disinterest of the vast majority of women who are as cool as she is, I'm not sure I'm cool enough to hang with this girl. ;)

She's just now starting to learn and comprehend the concept of siblings. Coupled with not seeing her more than once or twice a year, there was a lot of "That's my brother," "My brother this-or-that," "I want to sit next to my brother," and "You're my brother." I think my thirty-year-old sister was a little jealous!

Aside, it seems us older kids are still sometimes trying to make heads or tails of it all. Like it's strange to think that my thirty-year-old sister is married, and has been for the last couple years now. Sometimes it feels like I'm still in my twenties. I'm afraid I'm going to wake up tomorrow and suddenly a pile of years will have passed me by.

It's still going to take some time for the sibling thing to really make sense to the kid sister, but it's pretty cute regardless. I just hope I can be around enough for it to mean something as she gets older.

Alternative Press Expo!

2009-10-17T20:06:00.000-07:00

If you're in the SF Bay Area, I highly recommend checking out A.P.E. this weekend. You would be lucky to find a better gathering of indie and small press artists/writers anywhere else.

http://www.comic-con.org/ape

It's easily my favorite of all the comic/art conventions, and it's also very small and cozy compared to the rest. I treated myself to an adorable little painting by Wednesday Kirwan, and met rising talent Marian Churchland whose new book, Beast, I really enjoyed. Her manfriend Brandon Graham is also in town (they're both from Canada), who has a great book from Tokyopop called King City. You will also find the likes of Jamaica Dyer (Weird Fishes), Shannon Wheeler (Too Much Coffee Man) and Serena Valentino (Gloom Cookie), and that's just to mention a few.

Had I more money to throw around, there are so many extremely talented people who I would love to help support. Heaps of affordable gems at this show, and original art certainly makes a great gift, for anyone looking toward the holidays.

Seriously, if you're not here, you're missing out. There really is something for everyone, and you still have Sunday (the 18th) to bask in the awesomeness of APE. Come on down!

So many things to do, but...

2009-09-25T21:30:00.000-07:00

Being overcome by the compelling combination of Explosions In The Sky, bourbon, and contemplation of recent years past.

Signs point to: ain't nothin' much gonna get done tonight.

Manic Street Preachers

2009-09-25T02:42:00.001-07:00

Rad show at the Fillmore tonight, and a surprisingly sizeable turnout. I don't know anyone in this country who's heard of 'em, as they're largely known in the U.K., so I was a bit shocked to see so many people at the show. Many were familiar enough to sing along, which was great. I even geeked out and said hello to the band outside afterward. Very nice folks, spending the time to sign autographs and have photos taken with everyone who wanted one.

They haven't toured the U.S. in ten years. So very happy to finally get to see them perform! Woohoo!

Kirk Cameron and Co. are totally bonkers

2009-09-23T21:27:00.000-07:00

Brace for crazy!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/22/kirk-camerons-origin-of-s_n_294349.html

Jeez, Louise! Are all Christians out of their minds? I grapple with this question often. Although, after watching the second video, I think it's safe to say I've found my next girlfriend. ;) At least she's got her brain socketed properly.

And here is the scary banana video, aka the "Atheist's Nightmare," since it's referenced and relevant.

http://blog.taragana.com/index.php/archive/well-made-banana-debunks-evolution-or-does-it-kirk-cameron-makes-a-fool-of-himself/

I have to laugh, of course -- but the seriousness of these people definitely makes me sad, frustrated, upset and angry, all at the same time.

Mouthfuls of awesome.

2009-09-18T22:50:00.000-07:00

While doing some work with a client, I was invited to meet them for dinner at a French restaurant. The work ran late, but I met them at the restaurant with proofs for approval anyway. They had already eaten and finished off a couple bottles of wine, it looked like, but... they asked me to stay and ordered more food. Things were just getting warmed up, apparently. Little did I know what was in store for me.

The wine was brought by their wine-seller friend, and I must say it'd been many years since I'd been able to drink wine of this particular level of quality. Although I'm nowhere near being a connoisseur, wine nerdage definitely ensued.

And we ended up ordering most of what was on the dessert menu, as well...

This Monzinger Halenberg Riesling Auslese was an absolute winner with the chocolate crème brûlée. However, the evening of gustatory delight was not over...

Later, the pièce de résistance -- a 20 year old Château d'Yquem.

Oh. My. Gods.

I will probably never have a wine that amazing ever again in my entire life. Thank goodness I was fortunate enough to have the opportunity. :)

As Charlie Brown once said...

2009-08-05T23:25:00.000-07:00

AUUUGH!!!

That is all.

: /

San Diego Comic Con '09

2009-07-31T00:36:00.000-07:00

Last week was pretty ridiculous. Comic Con is usually quite fun, even to work at, but it's always so tiring and filled with hassle, and having to choose who and what you can fit into what little time there is.

I didn't do much at the show other than talk to people who I know and some people I had yet to meet in person. I tried to spend more time away from the convention itself. I didn't bring home a single thing from the show, either. Not necessarily a bad thing, as I didn't have money or desire to spend on books or material things. Original art is the only thing I'm interested in anymore, and I'm not fond of asking people I know for sketches, and don't have the money for more expensive art. Which is also fine, because I enjoy the few pieces I do have a little bit more.

The best part was hanging out at the hotel pool, which was mostly abandoned during the day. I'm rather enjoying being a few shades darker again. ;) Eating, drinking, swimming and sun; I was going to enjoy it while I could.

At one point, a girl had eventually shown up at the pool. She went to give the jacuzzi a try, and I figured I would say hello. Couldn't hurt, right? I turned the bubbles on, which she hadn't thought to do, noting the vast improvement over a placid jacuzzi. Turns out we chatted for a couple hours in and out of the pool. The next day, she called me up for breakfast, and later we spent more time at the pool. It was nice to feel the random chemistry, even with someone who lives as far away as New York. Ah well. ;)

Making new friends, seeing old friends, meeting people I know only through email and phone calls... it's been fun, but the time was just too short. Definitely reminds me that I need a real vacation.

ruminatin' on this here journal thang

2009-07-19T12:56:00.000-07:00

Because my friends take forever to wake up and get ready for brunch.

==

Last night, at the bar, I saw a woman who I found utterly fascinating. I couldn't stop stealing glances. Blue jeans and Converse All-Stars, pale with curly red hair, expressive eyes, gorgeous facial structure (perhaps like a cross between Gwynneth Paltrow and Cate Blanchett if they were Irish, though not as soft [my descriptors are horrible, I know]), great smile. Oh, and probably seven inches taller than me...

Shy as I can be, I was in a mood and I wanted to talk to her regardless. However, she was there with another gal. They sat close, they leaned on each other, it became apparent they were together. When I saw them give each other a quick kiss, like couples do, that pretty much took the wind out of my sail. ;)

==

There was a girl at the bar who I tried writing to online once. She pretended not to recognize me. She probably thought I was stalking her. Oops! :)

==

Is it weird that most days this July, at some point in the morning, I like to start my day with Steve Porter's Slap Chop mix? The Breakin' clips make me happy, too.

==

I don't give a rat's ass about golf, but if I could get TV channels right now, I'd love to see 59-year-old Tom Watson try to make history as the oldest to win a championship, or whatever. Unfortunately, he's now losing the deciding playoff against Stewart Cink, so it doesn't look like it's gonna happen. Probably my fault, because I wasn't watching. Sorry, Tom!

And sports writer (and terribly funny guy) Bill Simmons just said: "If Stu Cink beats Watson here, he's going to follow that up by stabbing Santa Claus to death." Heh! Cink is about to be one of the most hated men on earth today.

==

My dental hygienist was flossing my teeth the other day -- you know, like they do -- and I was intrigued by the floss, so I asked her what it was. Johnson & Johnson fluoride woven floss, which she said is her favourite, and I think it's quickly become my favourite as well. The floss is sweet and not waxed, lots of fibers in the string and therefore a bit thicker, so it seems like it would do a great job with the cleaning. You just have to make sure to not use the same bit of floss as you go, or you'll shred it, and you'll have to floss again to get the torn strands out.

Glide is probably the worst I've used. That shit literally glides over everything, and a bit too well. I don't see how that stuff properly de-plaquefies at all. I don't recommend using it, and neither does my dentist. We high-fived when I told her I hated it.

==

Right at this very moment I'm:

missing Layne Staley's voice, frowning at my empty Nalgene bottle, excited that my new hydration backpack arrives in the mail tomorrow, dreading San Diego Comic Con, and craving waffles.

Aim free and so untrue

2009-07-12T23:19:00.000-07:00

I had just spent an hour trying to figure out that song "Lazy Eye", by Silversun Pickups, on my guitar, when a thought struck me. By the way, the song's easy enough, give it a try. Too bad I didn't have anyone to play bass with me; it would've been fun making noise, and that bass line is sweet.

Which reminds me, I once tried to get my friend to play bass many years ago, so we could jam together. I think he might have been tone deaf, and he definitely had no rhythm, so it didn't work out. But anyway...

So, the thought I had: "Why am I not, right this very minute, forming a (what I like to call) "Bro Rock" band so that I can make a fair chunk of money from suburban Americans?" You know, like Nickelback, Daughtry, or some crap like that. Watch a live performance of theirs, I swear it's a sea of "cowgirl" hats, wife-beaters, chin-strap beards, bad tattoos, shaved heads and blonde girls. Randomly scattered throughout the crowd are drunk women making out with shirtless drunk guys you wouldn't think they'd be making out with, or perched atop their man's shoulders and flashing their boobs. Etcetera.

Hm. As I'm thinking about this, the idea is becoming less and less appealing. For one, I can't stand those types of acts, and mandatory overused double-tracked vocals are definitely not my style. It would probably be difficult to pretend like I really enjoyed making that kind of music. Plus, I think all my friends would disown me. I'd have to make new friends, and they'd all be "bro" friends. I'd have to start guzzling Corona through a beer bong, packing roofies, religiously watch UFC, and going to house parties.

Would I be able to sacrifice my ideals for wealth and women? It boggles my mind.

I suppose I could just do what would truly be fulfilling and make me happy, hoping that it will be noticed and used on Grey's Anatomy or Gossip Girl someday.

Dare to dream, my friends. Dare to dream.

I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my biiiiiiike.

2009-06-25T19:59:00.000-07:00

I'm a bit surprised, but thanks to a friend of mine who wanted to unload it for a pittance, I have acquired a new bicycle. It's been years since I've ridden one, and I can finally scratch this off the list of things I have been itching to do and add its technological distinctiveness to my own. Uh, I mean use it to commute to work every day.

First order of business: buy an air pump. Can't really ride on airless tires.

I'll probably need a couple lamps, in the event that I'm out at night. I should replace the grip strips on the handlebars. Are kick-stands uncool? Maybe I should get one. I really dig those Chrome messenger bags. Is there something better about them than using a plain ol' two-strap shoulder backpack? Different balance, maybe?

Yeah, I have no clue about bicycles. My last bike was a knock-off BMX in 1987. Hopefully this one is the right size for me. Hell, I didn't even know you could get them in specific sizes.

I plan on stopping by Recycle Bicycle, in Berkeley, to see what there is to see. I think REI is having some kind of sale starting June 26th, too. Any suggestions, recommendations on equipment, bags, pumps, maintenance, bike shops, etc., feel free to chime in!

Definitely looking forward to not being a bike noob for too long. :p

There is nothing wrong with your television set.

2009-06-12T23:11:00.000-07:00

Do not attempt to adjust the picture.

We are controlling transmission.

We will control the horizontal... (Hm. It's not moving...) WELL, WE WILL. Trust us.

We will control the vertical... (Damnit. Why isn't it...?) Uh, NEVERMIND. MOVING ON...

We can change the focus to -- OKAY, WHAT FREAKIN' GIVES? This thing ain't workin', guys. Gimme a second here.

Wait. What the...? DIGITAL TV?!

CURSES!

Journal For Plague Lovers

2009-06-02T21:21:00.000-07:00

Very happy this record is finally released. It starts out really strong, and is really quite enjoyable throughout. Very cool to have Richey's posthumous influence on this album. Hell, Nicky even gets to sing a tune, and it turns out that it's not painful to listen to, but good in a sorta Lou Reed-esque light. The Steve Albini production on the album must count for something, too, I'm sure.

What I really enjoy, though, are things like the harmonics that open "Jackie Collins"; and that "Journal" sounds like a Rush song being played by Bob Mould.

Lovin' it.

"Peeled Apples"

"Jackie Collins Existential Question Time"

"This Joke Sport Severed"

"Journal For Plague Lovers"

I admit it. I'm sappy and sentimental.

2009-05-31T15:22:00.000-07:00

Is it weird that this commercial has the power to bring tears to my eyes?

;)

Cary Grant: A Class Apart

2009-05-21T22:47:00.000-07:00

http://www.pbs.org/wnet/americanmasters/database/grant_c.html

Caught the episode of American Masters last night on KQED. Really great piece from several years ago. Even if you've never seen a film starring Cary Grant, you might be inspired to.

"Why would I believe that Cary was homosexual when we were busy fucking? Maybe he was bisexual. He lived 43 years before he met me. I don't know what he did."

Heck, it's worth watching just to see an elderly Betsy Drake say this and get the bleep censor on public television. ;)

Every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man.

2009-05-12T10:42:00.000-07:00

Apparently this guy's look is what you need to have in this town if you want girls to think you're sexy and go out with you.

Alternatively: cowboy shirt with snap buttons, tight tapered pants that conform to your girlish gams from waist to ankle, or straight-up wearing a pair of capri pants (no rolling necessary).

Bonus points for: a pair of huge headphones that look circa 1983, a trendy army-style hat, slip-on shoes with no laces, no socks (or a pair you can pull up, preferably with a stripe), dirtying up a little, sporting a nasty moustache or beard, and maybe a star/web tattoo on your elbow.

Hee hee. ;)

She smiled and thanked me.

2009-05-06T20:31:00.000-07:00

A little update on the girl who I talked about a couple journal entries back. I'd been going back and forth about walking into her office and saying hello, maybe being a cheeseball and giving her a cupcake and asking her out (based solely on looks alone, mind you). I decided this was a bad idea.

Well, the other day I was walking past on my way to work, and a car outside her office door (but not visible to her) was parked with its lights left on. I walked past, but stopped and turned back, feeling like I should walk in and mention it to her.

She was at her receptionist desk talking to an older fellow, who looked rather boss-like. They both looked at me standing there like a dipshit as I pulled on both doors to discover they were locked. She buzzed me in, probably because I didn't look like a hobo. I didn't walk in, but just stood in the doorway, and said to them that there was a car parked outside with its lights left on.

She smiled and thanked me and I smiled back, bid her good day and went on my way.

-------------------

Got a couple snaps from hockeying with my friend for the first time in over a decade, which I mentioned previously. What could possibly go wrong, I pondered. Well, nothing, thankfully. We skated twice that day, and things went well. No one got hurt, and it really was like getting back on a bicycle after a long hiatus. Our brains are pretty good at storing skills memories, apparently.

He's looking a little shaky out there, but the recall was quick:

Butt adjustment?:

Getting ready:

A little 4-on-4 scrimmage:

10 Questions For The Dalai Lama

2009-05-05T20:29:00.000-07:00

Recommended viewing. I just caught the last half of this on KQED tonight.

I find it admirable that a man who has seen so much shit in his lifetime, even today--including the violent oppression of his people, and the systematic destruction of his peoples' culture and religion--still has a sense of humor, not to mention compassion.

Game on!

2009-04-26T16:21:00.000-07:00

My oldest friend is in town visiting, from southern California, and I thought it'd be funny -- I mean, fun -- to get him on ice skates for the first time in twelve or more years, seeing as how we probably both stopped skating around the same exact time and I just recently started up again.

So I dropped three hundred clams on some new hockey equipment for him, and we're gonna hit the rink in the afternoon. May as well be armored up if you're gonna re-learn how to skate and toss a puck around.

This is a guy who, when we were teenagers, I once swatted a roller hockey ball at from half-court while he was standing by the goal, and it hit him right between the eyes and snapped his glasses in two. In front of his mom.

What could possibly go wrong? :)

Damned if I do. Damned if I don't.

2009-04-14T20:30:00.000-07:00

On my way to work, I pass by a business whose receptionist is a super cute gal, about my height, with short, slighty mussed, spikeyish hair. I try not to look, honest. Most days I succeed.

I fear one of these days I might lose my mind, unleash my inner Jimmy McNulty, saying "aw, fuck it" and walk in there to say hello. Maybe I should bring her a cupcake.

No, no. Bad. BAD.

I think I'll fall asleep now, while pondering all the horrible scenarios that might consequently transpire if I ever did such a thing. That should keep me limited to only stealing glances a few times a week. ;)

Wasted Years

2009-04-07T22:11:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what to make of this life I'm living. Or what to make of my essence. My sentience. Whatever you want to call it. I am me, in this fragile vessel, sitting at this computer, typing these thoughts. If I think too much about even just that, it starts to make no sense. The "how" sort of makes sense. It's the "why" that's throwing me for a loop.

I was just reading something that reminded me of my mom. It was about various people who had tried to "die well." Most of them were only in their late forties, just like my mom was when she died. I'm realizing that, even though I've been around for a few decades and it seems like a long time, it really isn't a long time. It's a very, very short time. And even though it's going to take another couple decades to hit fifty, the years seem shorter and shorter. Before I know it, I might be in a hospital bed fighting some form of cancer.

I feel like I'm wasting my life somehow. Going through the motions. Not doing anything of any real value. I'm doing some things I enjoy, sure. But if I think about it too much, they don't seem like they have a part in the bigger picture. So why do I waste my time playing video games, playing sports, going to work, making art, looking for love...? What should I be doing with my limited time on this rock?

I feel like I should be somewhere else. Someplace amazing and new. I feel like I should be doing something different. Something nobler, more important, more fulfilling.

I'm going through the motions, when I should be experiencing as much as I possibly can. Why is it that doing so seems less enjoyable without someone to experience everything with? Will I be able to look back on my life, as I lay dying, and say I lived a good life? That I lived the life that I wanted?

I wish I had the answers. The questions nag at me more as I get older. And life isn't moving as slow as it used to when I was younger. Or, rather, now that I'm older and more aware, I see exactly how fast it's going.

"Seize the day." It's something I need to learn how to do before my time runs out.

You're going to carry that weight.

2009-04-03T13:41:00.000-07:00

Regardless what you think of his administration (not that I think you can judge based on a few months without showing your complete lack of patience and objectivity), the man actually sounds like a responsible human being. Politics drives me up the wall, and I'm sure most politicians are shady mo-fos, but President Obama actually seems genuine. Someone to look up to. Someone who gives a damn. If I had kids, I would be elated if they took words like these to heart.

========================

"But the point is that what I found at a very young age was that if you can only think about yourself -- 'How much money can I make? What can I buy? How nice is my house? What kind of fancy car do I have?' -- that over the long term, I think you get bored," he told the audience of mostly students.

"I think if you're only thinking about yourself, your life becomes diminished, and the way to live a full life is to think about what can I do for others, how can I be a part of this larger project of making a better world," he said.

Obama said with all the challenges facing the world now, the younger generation has an abundance of opportunities to make a difference.

"It would be a tragedy if all of you who are so talented and energetic -- if you let that go to waste, if you just stood back and watched the world pass you by," he said.

"Better to jump in, get involved -- and it does mean that sometimes you'll get criticized and sometimes you'll fail and sometimes you'll be disappointed -- but you'll have a great adventure. And at the end of your life, hopefully you'll be able to look back and say, 'I made a difference.' "

Link to story

Owwie.

2009-03-30T11:35:00.000-07:00

Felt like crap when I woke up this morning, and somehow one of my eyeballs got super irritated by something (at which point I'm guessing I rubbed it a little TOO much), and it got puffy on one side. Ewwww. That's never happened before. Maybe I should try a cold pack.

So much work to do, and I feel like I can't gain ground on anything. So, I'm staying home from work, but still working from home. Unfortunate, especially with a bum eye. However, this sure does makes it a little better. ;)

Buona sera, signorina. Buona sera.

2009-03-21T02:34:00.001-07:00

I haven't made tiramisu in what seems like ages. Thankfully, there are some things you don't forget easily. It's only a basic way of doing it (and there are so, so many ways). However, I made an abnormally _large_ batch of it this time around, for my friend Lisa's going away shindig. I'm not sure how many people would be eating this crap, so I made a lot. Unfortunately, this may prove to be its undoing. I'm used to making much less of this at a time.

My main concern is that I didn't make it strong enough. Despite having one of my favorite rums and, my secret weapon, Grand Mariner at my disposal, part of me feared adding too much liquor. I mean, who knows what kind of crybaby creme puffs are going to be eating this stuff, y'know? ;)

Anyway, that was probably a mistake. But from what I tasted along the way, it seemed like it was going to be okay.

I suppose I ought to go through the process, for anyone wanting to make this.

Let's see... uh... I used six eggs, yolk/whites separated. Probably about 3/4 cup of sugar (probably could've used less, whoops). Some vanilla extract (1 tbsp?). 16oz of mascarpone. 1 pint of heavy whipping cream. Two packages of ladyfingers, which I believe came to be 48 total. I forget how big the baking pan is. 14"x10"x2"? Cocoa powder. And 4 cups of strong coffee.

I was in a hurry when I did this so... yeah, I beat the sugar and the egg yolks until thick and creamy-lookin'. Then I beat the egg whites (I add a little salt). Then I folded those together in a big bowl along with the mascarpone (helps if you let it sit at room temp for a bit).

Oh, right... you need espresso. You know, to dip the ladyfingers in before you put them in the pan. Well I don't have that, so at that point I made some good ol' strong coffee.

While the coffee is brewing, I took the heavy whipping cream and I whipped the living Hell out of it, turning into... you guessed it... whipped cream! Anyone who has never done this by hand before, give it a try, you'll be in for a real treat...

It helps to have a cold glass bowl and whisk, or electric mixer attachments, (ie you had them in the freezer for a bit beforehand). But I'm not here to give you a science lesson so, moving on, I whipped and whipped and whipped until... eventually... the cream turned into a Cool Whip-esque consistency. I mixed in a shot of Grand Mariner and a shot of rum, as well as a shot of the coffee. I probably should've used a little more booze to give it more "OOMPH." Oh well.

So, after all that's done, all of that stuff gets folded together in a big bowl, until it's nice and smooth. Turning my attention to the ladyfingers, it's time to begin putting this thing together. The coffee goes into a dish/bowl I can easily dip the ladyfingers in. I give them a short soak (or they'll fall apart) and then line them up in the pan. Once there's a layer of them down, they get covered with the tasty mascarpone cream mixture. I like to sprinkle chocolate and cocoa before I pour the cream on top of them, but you don't have to. Then a second layer (like in the photo) gets put on top of that, and then that gets covered as well.

That will sit in the refrigerator overnight, and the result should be--hopefully--an awesome dessert for the next evening. Sweet, eh? LITERALLY! I'll dust the whole thing with cocoa tomorrow.

It's not traditional, but if I had bittersweet chocolate on hand, I would've grated some of that in there, too, between layers and on top. Yum.

I guess I'll find out tomorrow if this shit turned out good. Fingers crossed!

(Don't judge it too harshly, Guido. I'm only one quarter Italian.) ;)

Completely unrelated, these Bauer One90s are the best hockey gloves EVAR:

Would a zombie eat a bruised brain?

2009-03-18T21:29:00.001-07:00

I mean, I don't like eating bruised apples or bananas. Just wondering. Um...... anyway...

While reading about Natasha Richardson's seemingly innocuous, but ultimately fatal, head injury incurred while skiing, my memory was sparked.

I was skating at my old rink in San Diego one afternoon, dressed in hockey gear, getting some ice time in during a public skate before playing pick-up hockey. I had been doing some hard stops into the boards. At one point, I went into my stopping posture and my edge caught a deep gouge in the ice, a little short of the paint which is usually about an inch deep. Either from some kid digging it with their skate, or left over from a recent hockey game. In those split seconds, I fought against my mass and momentum, which may have just made the fall worse. I fell awkwardly, slamming the side of my head against the ice.

Of course, I wasn't wearing a helmet at the time.

Brilliant, I know. I don't know why I took it off. Obviously I didn't think I needed it at the time, maybe because I felt like a stooge wearing it. Perhaps I wanted to demonstrate Murphy's Law. Regardless, it was a violent head-banging that might have made Riki Rachtman both proud horrified at the same time.

I got up immediately and skated off the ice, at which point I had to fight the urge to vomit. I decided to lay down for a while until the pain, nausea and dizziness all subsided. I didn't ask for help. I didn't say anything to anyone, and I feel like an idiot. I was just happy that nobody had really noticed. But in that time, I had no idea that it could've been worse than it was, or that things could have become worse while I laid there on a bench. I never thought once that I should get looked at.

It's rather scary to think about how close you may have come to a debilitating injury, not to mention an untimely end. Even the most seemingly minor or easily recoverable conk on the head could prove to be very serious. I'm sure people hit their all the time, not really thinking about what could be. It's a little worrisome to ponder. Perhaps I was lucky that day. I don't know. But what I do know is this:

Fuck skiing, I am never doing that crazy shit EVER.

:p

Mass Effect

2009-02-23T20:52:00.001-08:00

I don't know how I missed out on playing this fantastic sci-fi action RPG, but I'm glad I finally got around to it. The PC version is nothing short of spectacular. The gameplay is good, the graphics are gorgeous, and the music is nicely composed. The story is intriguing, and just from the very RICH mythology and background that has been created for the game's universe, which you can access through a codex/database, you can really see the creativity and smarts that have been poured into this thing. It's really impressive.

But what really gets me going is the voice acting. And there are some big names. Keith David, who's been in tons of commercials, and was the voice of Spawn from the animated series several years ago. And who doesn't remember and love the back alley brawl between him and Roddy Piper in They Live? Lance Henriksen, beloved actor from Millenium and Aliens. Marina Sirtis, who you would know as Troi from Star Trek TNG. Jennifer Hale, a very experienced voice actor with an immense acting background in animation and video gaming. Even that wacky Seth Green, who is every much the geek that any of us fans are, if not more so.

My favorite is that the codex/database is narrated by none other than Neil Ross, whose voice you've probably heard if you watch Discovery Channel or the History Channel. He's narrated tons of stuff, and his voice talent, just like the others, lends that much more realism and believability to the world the game developers have created.

Yeah, call me a geek, but I'm flat-out impressed. I love this kind of thing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K42T-g_G9ME

Fish Tacos!

2009-02-18T12:43:00.000-08:00

I got the itch to make some fish tacos as a snack, and it turned into dinner. I just threw together some panko-breaded tilapia, lettuce, tomatoes, and a sauce that I made (basically sour cream with a bunch of lime juice and some plain yogurt, and I dumped a bunch of hot sauce into that mix), a little salt and pepper. I didn't have any cilantro, or that would've been included. Corn tortillas for the win.

Damn, I'm hungry again just from typing that.

I now leave you with some hockey smut. Hah!

Crap, I think I'm gonna look like that guy from House when I get older. D'oh.

:p

I am crazy! Woo!

2009-02-15T23:56:00.001-08:00

I played hockey tonight, after spending $300 on some new gloves and shoulder pads, I didn't eat dinner, and then went out for Trappist ales with a guy I met at the rink. We talked about hockey, growing up, and how American women are so goddamned standoffish.

I'm somewhat inebriated, I need a shower, my clothes are soaked with rain, I'm hungry--and, fuck it, I've decided I'm going to sleep.

AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME!

But at least I hung all my equipment up to dry.

:p

Happy Horny Werewolf Day

2009-02-13T20:14:00.001-08:00

As Warren Ellis likes to say every year, "Valentine’s Day is a Christian corruption of a pagan festival involving werewolves, blood and fucking. So wish people a happy Horny Werewolf Day and see what happens."

And if the VD has got you down, fret not, my dear friends. Just remember this: It's no different than any other day that we don't get to snuggle with someone. Am I right? ;)

Nevermind. Enjoy your VD!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine's_Day

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lupercalia

"And then one day you find ten years have got behind you"

2009-02-11T11:35:00.000-08:00

I'm actually not that bad at hockey for not really having played much. I've only played on ice for a couple years, in my entire life. I was nineteen or twenty when I first started playing, in a house league at a rink I worked at. There were three divisions and I played in the lowest one, but it turned out I was good enough to play in the middle division. The first division had some guys who were in minor pro leagues. My teammates said I reminded them of Peter Bondra, which made me laugh. (Aside, I always wanted to play like Joe Sakic with a little Theoren Fleury mixed in.) Of course, just being "able to play" and actually playing the game WELL, while having the wherewithal and the instincts, are totally different.

My mom died when I was 21 and it shook me up so badly that I pretty much stopped doing everything, and ended up working a boring job, not doing anything recreational, and then moved away a year or so after that. I hadn't put on skates more than a couple times since then.

I guess I pick things up quickly, and I think I'm fairly coordinated for sports. Despite my height, I sometimes think about what could have been if I had been motivated enough, coached for years and had proper physical conditioning.

It's funny, because it makes me think that there are so many other things I could have done, and done well, if not "mastered," had I focused on them. Visual art, music, cooking, photography, writing, mathematics (okay, maybe not math)... all kinds of things that I swear I have a feel for, that I somehow figure out how to do well enough without any training or education. I don't know what that is. Is that talent? Is that genetics?

I don't know, but it might not just be bullshit when it's said that you can do anything you put your mind to. Given the right circumstances, maybe you really can.

"Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines."

Just how much time and talent have I wasted just "dabbling" in things? Or being distracted by other things? Just how much have you wasted? We'll never know. But it's not too late for some things.

Lux Interior - R.I.P.

2009-02-10T15:51:00.000-08:00

When I was a kid, my friends and I saw one of their albums and inadvertently discovered them (much to our parents' chagrin) by figuring that no band could be called The Cramps and be anything but awesome. We were right, apparently.

(Of course, this backfired on me once, when I saw a Manowar album in the store. I remember buying it, listening to it and then immediately regretting it--and it was nonreturnable. Damn me for judging an album by its wicked album cover. Anyway...)

My friend, the illustrious fatale Kristin Kubiak, adds:
"Lux was one of the sexiest frontmen ever...somewhere out there, I'm convinced, in some urban demilitarized zone or a sweaty redneck bar or a swamp or a city dump, HE LIIIIIIVES!"

My other friend Jim Williams says:
"Lux was a master showman. Every time I saw them play live it was an amazing exhilarating thrill ride thrust of energy. You always walked out of a Cramps show amped up so high that you’re afraid of the inevitable crash to follow. Even at their age they could still rock the house down to the floor. Lux brought a certain psychotic but elegant sense to sleaze. The last time we saw them play he was his usual prowling daring self. He was infamous for getting stripped down to nothing but a g-string and fuck me pumps, but on this occasion he was brazen enough to let his god made manhood hang out for the world to see in all of his absurd glory. It was shocking, crazy, funny, and sooo sweetly dirty. He WAS rock’n'roll. Between him and his bandmate and partner Poison Ivy they made the Cramps forever legends of the underground music scene. They’ve been a massive influence on my life in very pleasing insidious ways."

We'll miss ya, Lux.

Bake FAIL

2009-02-09T14:07:00.001-08:00

So, those banana muffins I made the other night? I was in a hurry to meet friends for dinner and drinks, and I forgot to put baking soda into the mix.

Oops.

Anyone want some unleavened muffins? :p

Getting back on the horse - Week 3

2009-02-08T21:35:00.000-08:00

No, not whores!

NEVERMIND.

Week three was fun. I had a huge brunch and I was feeling energized.

A couple of goalies showed up, which makes shooting at the net more interesting. Unfortunately, some jackass decided he was going to stand there and screen the goalie, or generally just get in the shooter's way. That was annoying. I wanted to hit him in the face with a wrister.

Speaking of shooting, my shot is starting to come back. I hit the top of the net several times, and got a couple corner posts. I'm not as strong as I used to be, but hopefully I can actually fire off a decent slap shot next week. I'm afraid my sticks are so old that they'll crack if I try it. Chances are that I'll just look like a dork when I shoot horribly.

There were a surprising number of people wearing L.A. Kings jerseys tonight. But even more surprising were the number of people wearing the Kings' ALTERNATE jersey from "back in the day" (the '90s). The white jerseys with the goofy bearded king off-center on the front. The L.A. BURGER Kings, was more like it. I hated those jerseys. I think there were at least two guys wearing those tonight. WTF?!

Me, I wore my black and silver L.A. Kings jersey, and Colorado Avalanche socks. Yeah, I know. Who cares? Apparently it's cool to wear a non-matching pair of socks over your leg pads nowadays. Guess I missed that memo.

Oh, and I bought a new cup. My other one was just way too massive. While I will miss the protective qualities due to its sheer size, thankfully now I won't feel like I'm hiding a burrito between my legs.

Mmm, burrito...

Damn, I forgot to eat dinner. Guess I should get on that!

Getting back on the horse - Week 2

2009-02-04T20:59:00.000-08:00

No, still not a real horse.

Last weekend I went to the rink instead of watching the Superbowl. There were slightly fewer people there, as I had hoped, which seemed to make avoiding skaters and pucks a little easier.

I got there a little early so that I could look at some gear in the shop, and think about what to upgrade next. I think I'll get a new cup. The one I have offers amazing protection, but it looks like it's made for someone who's 6'5", not 5'5". Anyway...

I ended up getting a locker room all to myself, which amused me. There aren't any lockers in the locker rooms, but that's neither here nor there.

It smelled like beers had been enjoyed a while before I had used the room. Bottle caps were scattered near the trash can, and I could imagine the scene; guys dismantling their armor and throwing balled up tape and bottle caps at the trash can.

I got out on the ice and I was invited to play some 3-on-3 at one end of the rink. No goalie, so you have to aim for the posts. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was in for a workout. There was one player who was much better than the others, and the others seemed to be on my level. But what really separated me from them was the fact that this was the 2nd time I'd skated in over a decade. I was out of shape, and they were used to doing this regularly.

It didn't dawn me until too late, and I ended up skating way too hard early on. Out of gas, I bowed out after 30 minutes, and went to shooting on net and leisurely skating with my heavy puck. But it got me wondering if I should start running to help build up my stamina when I'm not skating.

I really hate running, though. ;)

Getting back on the horse - Week 1

2009-01-26T01:41:00.000-08:00

No, not a real horse.

Tonight I skated for the first time in, well, maybe twelve years.

I decided it was about time to stop being out-of-practice and get back into the swing of things. No more letting lack of money or inconvenience keep me from doing what I want. So, I think I can say that I'm officially back in the game.

The ice rink in Oakland is gorgeous. I used to work at a rink in San Diego, and the place was a barn in comparison. It was a little awkward being in a rink I'd never been in before, getting ready to just jump out on the ice, not knowing if I could still do it anymore.

I had to buy a new helmet, because my old one broke after I accidentally dropped it today. Not to mention that the padding on the inside had fallen out because the glue had dried up. It's weird to think about how my hockey gear hasn't seen the light of day in over a decade. When I got home, I realized that the outer skin on my gloves was flaking off. I'm looking at stuff in the shop and everything looks so well constructed and manufactured. It was a weird moment where I felt a little like Steve Rogers must have felt when he woke up from being suspended in ice for decades.

Some things never change, though. Like the smell of locker rooms. The smell of the rink itself. It was a little strange putting the old hockey gear on and strapping on the skates after so long. For a minute I was afraid I'd forgotten how to do even just that. The feel of the equipment became familiar again, and taping up my sticks was calming.

I walked up the steps from the locker room and watched two teams playing on the second rink. For a minute I wondered what it'd be like if I hadn't stopped playing, or even just skating. Which also briefly made me think of my artwork, and how I'd ultimately neglected it for years. Instead, now, I have to fight to get back to the level I was at before I stopped. It's not a good feeling.

As I approached the ice, I thought I might fall down as soon as I stepped on it. But without losing stride, I took a breath and out I went. It all came back pretty much instantly.

I have a lot of rust to shake off, and it's going to take some time for me to get fully comfortable skating again, but at least I can say I didn't embarrass myself. You probably couldn't tell that the last time I did this was 1997. I was surprised.

I can't believe it has been that long. Gosh, I'm an idiot. And there is photographic evidence of that:

"For everywhere we look, there is work to be done."

2009-01-20T12:09:00.000-08:00

Barack Obama's Inauguration speech.

Great stuff. I feel lucky to have been alive to see this happen. Politics is not my thing, I'm forever a skeptic and a cynic, but this is the first time my heart was really in it. Hopefully we have some pretty good years ahead.

"As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment—a moment that will define a generation—it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all."

For Sale

2009-01-19T13:19:00.001-08:00

I'm selling my van, if anyone's interested. Sadly, I'm not really using it anymore.

:p

Bacon fad. Cupcake fad. Now, bacon cupcakes...

2009-01-19T02:43:00.000-08:00

http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=6632953

Meat together with chocolate is nothing new, but this cupcake fad is out of control. It's like the new Krispy Kreme or something.

And, I swear, every 10 minutes I hear someone mention how great bacon is. Just shut the hell up. I already know. Stop your gushing already.

I want to place a moratorium on bacon, cupcakes, zombies, pirates, monkeys, nautical stars, Obama merch, Twilight, roller derby, and Wolverine.

Blah.

Heartbreak Hotel?

2009-01-10T22:44:00.001-08:00

While exchanging notes with someone just now, I was reminded of something amusing.

Once upon a time, when I was around 21 or 22 years old, I met a girl in a chat room. She lived in Memphis, Tennessee.

We talked for several months. We were talking on the phone one night and I mentioned how I'd never been on a real vacation before, and she suggested I visit her. Hey, why not, right? We were kinda sweet on each other, she was totally cute, and we talked about seeing various rock and blues shows and sights around town. So, it was on. My first travel experience was about to commence.

Cut to Nashville airport, a couple months later. The sun was setting and I was on my way to a bus station to make the rest of the trip to Memphis. I was getting more excited, and the thought of taking a 4+ hour bus ride was unbearable.

I arrive at the Greyhound station in Memphis and it's midnightish. She can't pick me up, for whatever reason, it's late, and she says she'll see me in the morning. OK... So, like a moron, I spend the night at the Greyhound station. In Memphis.

I lived.

9am rolls around and I decide to give her a call to see about breakfast and taking me to my hotel.

She can't. She has class.

Oh...

I should've seen this as a harbinger of things to come.

I ended up paying a bunch of money for a cab ride to the hotel I had booked. I spend the day in the hotel room, getting my stuff unpacked, going down to the corner store for some grub, and watching baseball on TV. Killing time 'til she calls me later that day.

There was no phone call. I called her around 9pm and left a message. I ended up falling asleep watching SportsCenter.

The next morning, I figured she had class again. No big deal. I spent the morning and afternoon eating, jogging, doing sit-ups and push-ups in my hotel room, and watching -- yes -- baseball. Hey, it was summer, what do you want? :P Another evening went by, no word from her, another of my voicemails not returned.

By the third day, I was a little bit frustrated. I'd talked to her on the phone for a grand total of maybe 10 minutes since I arrived. I had no idea what was going on. I couldn't figure out what I had done wrong, or if there was something going on that I wasn't aware of.

I decided that afternoon to go for a jog, only this time I would go to her house.

Yup, right up to her goddamned house I went. I figured I would just say hi, you know? Nothing creepy in my mind about it. I was a pretty nice boy back then. Not the cynical sarcastic jaded jerk that I am now. ;)

Her mom answers the door and I ask if her daughter is home. She looks at me like she's trying to keep from looking at me like I'm some kind of degenerate freak. I'm sure she looked at this tanned long-haired boy, wearing a black shirt with cut-off sleeves, black shorts, possibly appearing as though he had just run a few miles to her doorstep, and in those few seconds wanted to call the police. This amuses me in hindsight.

She closes the door, and I wait a minute. Her daughter opens the door and we meet for the first time. She's a little taller than me (naturally), and she's super cute. She's surprised to see me, and I explain that I was confused and wondered what was going on, and I got a little impatient, thinking it might be fun to drop by while I was out jogging. She says she's been busy, but we will hang out later that night, and in the coming days we were going to do all the stuff we had been planning. Okay, I thought. Finally. We sat on her front porch and talked for about half an hour.

I jogged back to my hotel, my head possibly a little buzzed from meeting her in person, and killed some time before we went out for dinner. This may have involved doing sit-ups, push-ups or watching baseball. I'm not sure anymore, but the idea of dinner and fun was definitely exciting. Except then the strangest thing happened! She didn't call me. I went to sleep, frustrated and sad.

I woke up to what had now become a routine. Morning shower, walk down to the store for some cheap breakfast, come back to the hotel to do some push-ups and sit-ups, watch some baseball, go for a jog, come back and watch some more baseball while eating a crappy dinner. Come to think of it, I didn't eat a whole lot while I was there.

Anyway, I decided I'd had enough. Instead of calling her, I called the airline. I was going home a couple days early. I had wasted a week of doing nothing. My return flight was at 9am the next day.

I head out to Greyhound that night. It's full of people who are beat, run down from their work day. A nice girl who was several years younger than me and traveling alone, asked me to sit with her because she was a little weirded out by the passengers and taking a 4 hour bus ride so late. She fell asleep with her head on my shoulder, and I dozed off with my cheek resting on her head. Keeping this girl company and helping her feel a little safer felt like the most sincere human interaction I had the whole time I was there.

I spent the rest of the night in the Nashville airport, feeling lost as I sat and waited for the hours to pass by. It was dark and there were few people about. Occasionally a security guard would pass by. It felt good to be headed home and out of this weird southern state.

Back in San Diego, it's business as usual, everything is familiar. I had just wasted a bunch of money on a vacation that wasn't even a goddamned vacation, but it was great to be back. That same evening, I'm on my computer and an IM pops up on my screen. It's from her friend. Her friend is telling me that the girl is really sorry, she really wanted to see me, she really really likes me, she was sick, and yadda yadda.

Why couldn't she call me and tell me this stuff on the phone? Why couldn't she email/IM this to me herself? She wasn't sick three days ago. Suddenly she's too sick to even apologize to a guy she claims is a friend who just went far out of his way to see her? I'm sure her parents were also involved to some extent. But whatever, I had no idea what to say. Her friend told me I should give her another chance. I never talked to her again.

And I still haven't been on a real vacation. ;)

><))°>

Pornography

2008-12-05T15:47:00.000-08:00

I've worked in the porn industry. It wasn't a horrible experience, but I did question the nature of it all. Was I really just naive to think that these women were empowered or liberated, and not exploited? Well, call me a feminist, because I pretty much agree with everything this essay has to say:

----------------------

Robert Jensen
School of Journalism
University of Texas
Austin, TX 78712
work: (512) 471-1990
fax: (512) 471-7979
rjensen@uts.cc.utexas.edu

copyright Gail Dines and Robert Jensen 2005

by Gail Dines and Robert Jensen

Anti-pornography feminists get used to insults from the left. Over and over we are told that we’re anti-sex, prudish, simplistic, politically naïve, diversionary, and narrow-minded. The cruder critics do not hesitate to suggest that the cure for these ailments lies in, how shall we say, a robust sexual experience.

In addition to the slurs, we constantly face a question: Why do we “waste” our time on the pornography issue? Since we are anti-capitalist and anti-empire leftists as well as feminists, shouldn’t we focus on the many political, economic, and ecological crises (war, poverty, global warming, etc.)? Why would we spend part of our intellectual and organizing energies over the past two decades pursuing the feminist critique of pornography and the sexual exploitation industry?

The answer is simple: We are anti-pornography precisely because we are leftists as well as feminists.

As leftists, we reject the sexism and racism that saturates contemporary mass-marketed pornography. As leftists, we reject the capitalist commodification of one of the most basic aspects of our humanity. As leftists, we reject corporate domination of media and culture. Anti-pornography feminists are not asking the left to accept a new way of looking at the world but instead are arguing for consistency in analysis and application of principles.

It has always seemed strange to us that so many on the left consistently refuse to engage in a sustained and thoughtful critique of pornography. All this is particularly unfortunate at a time when the left is flailing
to find traction with the public; a critique of pornography, grounded in a radical feminist and left analysis that counters right-wing moralizing, could be part of an effective organizing strategy.

Left media analysis <>

Leftists examine mass media as one site where the dominant class attempts to create and impose definitions and explanations of the world. We know news is not neutral, that entertainment programs are more than just fun and games. These are places where ideology is reinforced, where the point of view of the powerful is articulated. That process is always a struggle; attempts to define the world by dominant classes can be, and are, resisted. The term “hegemony” is typically used to describe that always-contested process, the way in which the dominant class attempts to secure control over the construction of meaning.

The feminist critique of pornography is consistent with -- and, for many of us, grows out of -- a widely accepted analysis on the left of ideology, hegemony, and media, leading to the observation that pornography is to patriarchy what commercial television is to capitalism. Yet when pornography is the topic, many on the left seem to forget Gramsci’s theory of hegemony and accept the pornographer’s self-serving argument that pornography is mere fantasy.
<>Apparently the commonplace left insight that mediated images can be tools for legitimizing inequality holds true for an analysis of CBS or CNN, but evaporates when the image is of a woman having a penis thrust into her throat with such force that she gags. In that case, for unexplained reasons, we aren’t supposed to take pornographic representations seriously or view them as carefully constructed products within a wider system of gender, race, and class inequality. The valuable work conducted by media critics on the politics of production apparently holds no weight for pornography.

Pornography is fantasy, of a sort. Just as television cop shows that assert the inherent nobility of police and prosecutors as protectors of the people are fantasy. Just as the Horatio Alger stories about hard work’s rewards in capitalism are fantasy. Just as films that cast Arabs only as terrorists are fantasy.

All those media products are critiqued by leftists precisely because the fantasy world they create is a distortion of the actual world in which we live. Police and prosecutors do sometimes seek justice, but they also enforce the rule of the powerful. Individuals in capitalism do sometimes prosper as a result of their hard work, but the system does not provide everyone who works hard with a decent living. Some tiny number of Arabs are terrorists, but that obscures both the terrorism of the powerful in white America and the humanity of the vast majority of Arabs.

Such fantasies also reflect how those in power want subordinated people to feel. Images of happy blacks on the plantations made whites feels more secure and self-righteous in their oppression of slaves. Images of contented workers allay capitalists’ fears of revolution. And men deal with their complex feelings about contemporary masculinity’s toxic mix of sex and aggression by seeking images of women who enjoy pain and humiliation.

Why do so many on the left seem to assume that pornographers operate in a different universe than other capitalists? Why would pornography be the only form of representation produced and distributed by corporations that wouldn’t be a vehicle to legitimize inequality? Why would the pornographers be the only media capitalists who are rebels seeking to subvert hegemonic systems?

Why do the pornographers get a free ride from so much of the left?

After years of facing the left’s hostility in public and print, we believe the answer is obvious: Sexual desire can constrain people’s capacity for critical reason -- especially in men in patriarchy, where sex is not only about pleasure but about power.

Leftists -- especially left men -- need to get over the obsession with getting off.

Let’s analyze pornography not as sex, but as media. Where would that lead?

Corporate media

Critiques of the power of commercial corporate media are ubiquitous on the left. Leftists with vastly different political projects can come together to decry conglomerates’ control over news and entertainment programming. Because of the structure of the system, it’s a given that these corporations create programming that meets the needs of advertisers and elites, not ordinary people.

Yet when discussing pornography, this analysis flies out the window. Listening to many on the left defend pornography, one would think the material is being made by struggling artists tirelessly working in lonely garrets to help us understand the mysteries of sexuality. Nothing could be further from the truth; the pornography industry is just that -- an industry, dominated by the pornography production companies that create the material, with mainstream corporations profiting from its distribution.

It’s easy to listen in on pornographers’ conversations -- they have a trade magazine, Adult Video News. The discussions there don’t tend to focus on the transgressive potential of pornography or the polysemic nature of sexually explicit texts. It’s about -- what a surprise! -- profits. The magazine’s stories don’t reflect a critical consciousness about much of anything, especially gender, race, and sex.

Andrew Edmond -- president and CEO of Flying Crocodile, a $20 million pornography internet company -- put it bluntly: “A lot of people get distracted from the business model by [the sex]. It is just as sophisticated and multilayered as any other market place. We operate just like any Fortune 500 company.”

The production companies -- from big players such as Larry Flynt Productions to small fly-by-night operators -- act predictably as corporations in capitalism, seeking to maximize market-share and profit. They do not consider the needs of people or the effects of their products, any more than other capitalists. Romanticizing the pornographers makes as much sense as romanticizing the executives at Viacom or Disney.

Increasingly, mainstream media corporations profit as well. Hugh Hefner and Flynt had to fight to gain respectability within the halls of capitalism, but today many of the pornography profiteers are big corporations. Through ownership of cable distribution companies and Internet services, the large companies that distribute pornography also distribute mainstream media. One example is News Corp. owned by Rupert Murdoch.

News Corp. is a major owner of DirecTV, which sells more pornographic films than Flynt. In 2000, the New York Times reported that nearly $200 million a year is spent by the 8.7 million subscribers to DirecTV. Among News Corp.’s other media holdings are the Fox broadcasting and cable TV networks, Twentieth Century Fox, the New York Post, and TV Guide. Welcome to synergy: Murdoch also owns HarperCollins, which published pornography star Jenna Jameson’s best-selling book How To Make Love Like A Porn Star.

When Paul Thomas accepted his best-director award at the pornography industry’s 2005 awards ceremony, he commented on the corporatization of the industry by joking: “I used to get paid in cash by Italians. Now I get paid with a check by a Jew.” Ignoring the crude ethnic references (Thomas works primarily for Vivid, whose head is Jewish), his point was that what was once largely a mob-financed business is now just another corporate enterprise.

How do leftists feel about corporate enterprises? Do we want profit-hungry corporative executives constructing our culture?

Commodification

It’s long been understood on the left that one of the most insidious aspects of capitalism is the commodification of everything. There is nothing that can’t be sold in the capitalist game of endless accumulation.
<>In pornography, the stakes are even higher; what is being commodified is crucial to our sense of self. Whatever a person’s sexuality or views on sexuality, virtually everyone agrees it is an important aspect of our identity. In pornography, and in the sex industry more generally, sexuality is one more product to be packaged and sold.

When these concerns are raised, pro-pornography leftists often rush to explain that the women in pornography have chosen that work. Although any discussion of choice must take into consideration the conditions under which one chooses, we don’t dispute that women do choose, and as feminists we respect that choice and try to understand it.
<>But, to the best of our knowledge, no one on the left defends capitalist media -- or any other capitalist enterprise -- by pointing out workers consented to do their jobs. The people who produce media content, or any other product, consent to work in such enterprises, under varying constraints and opportunities. So what? The critique is not of the workers, but of the owners and structure. <>

Look at the industry’s biggest star, Jenna Jameson, who appears to control her business life. However in her book she reports that she was raped as a teenager and describes the ways in which men in her life pimped her. Her desperation for money also comes through when she tried to get a job as a stripper but looked too young -- she went into a bathroom and pulled off her braces with pliers. She also describes drug abuse and laments the many friends in the industry she lost to drugs. And this is the woman said to have the most power in the pornography industry.

As we understand left analysis, the focus isn’t on individual decisions about how to survive in a system that commodifies everything and takes from us meaningful opportunities to control our lives. It’s about fighting a system.

<>

Racism

As the most blatant and ugly forms of racism have disappeared from mainstream media, leftists have continued to point out that subtler forms of racism endure, and that their constant reproduction through media is a problem. Race matters, and media depictions of race matter.

Pornography is the one media genre in which overt racism is still acceptable. Not subtle, coded racism, but old-fashioned U.S. racism -- stereotypical representations of the black male stud, the animalistic black woman, the hot Latina, the demure Asian geisha. Pornography vendors have a special category, “interracial,” which allows consumers to pursue the various combinations of racialized characters and racist scenarios.

The racism of the industry is so pervasive that it goes largely unnoticed. In an interview with the producer of the DVD “Black Bros and Asian Ho’s,” one of us asked if he ever was criticized for the racism of such films. He said, “No, they are very popular.” We repeated the question: Popular, yes, but do people ever criticize the racism? He looked incredulous; the question apparently had never entered his mind.

Yet take a tour of a pornography shop, and it’s clear that racial justice isn’t central to the industry. Typical is the claim of “Black Attack Gang Bang” films: “My mission is to find the cutest white honeys to get Gang Banged by some hard pipe hitting niggas straight outta compton!” It would be interesting to see a pro-pornography leftist argue to a non-white audience that such films are unrelated to the politics of race and white supremacy.

Up-market producers such as Vivid use mainly white women; the official face of pornography is overwhelmingly white. However, alongside this genre there exists more aggressive material in which women of color appear more frequently. As one black woman in the industry told us, “This is a racist business,” from how she is treated by producers to pay differentials to the day-to-day conversations she overhears on the set.

Sexism

Contemporary mass-marketed heterosexual pornography -- the bulk of the market for sexually explicit material -- is one site where a particular meaning of sex and gender is created and circulated. Pornography’s central ideological message is not hard to discern: Women exist for the sexual pleasure of men, in whatever form men want that pleasure, no matter what the consequences for women. It’s not just that women exist for sex, but that they exist for the sex that men want.
<>Despite naïve (or disingenuous) claims about pornography as a vehicle for women’s sexual liberation, the bulk of mass-marketed pornography is incredibly sexist. From the ugly language used to describe women, to the positions of subordination, to the actual sexual practices themselves -- pornography is relentlessly misogynistic. As the industry “matures” the most popular genre of films, called “gonzo,” continues to push the limits of degradation of, and cruelty toward, women. Directors acknowledge they aren’t sure where to take it from the current level.

This misogyny is not an idiosyncratic feature of a few fringe films. Based on three studies of the content of mainstream video/DVD pornography over the past decade, we conclude that woman-hating is central to contemporary pornography. Take away every video in which a woman is called a bitch, a cunt, a slut, or a whore, and the shelves would be nearly bare. Take away every DVD in which a woman becomes the target of a man’s contempt, and there wouldn’t be much left. Mass-marketed pornography doesn’t celebrate women and their sexuality, but instead expresses contempt for women and celebrates the charge of expressing that contempt sexually.
<>Leftists typically reject crude biological explanations for inequality. But the story of gender in pornography is the story of biological determinism. A major theme in pornography is that women are different from men and enjoy pain, humiliation, degradation; they don’t deserve the same humanity as men because they are a different kind of creature. In pornography, it’s not just that women want to get fucked in degrading fashion, but that they need it. Pornography ultimately tells stories about where women belong -- underneath men.

Most leftists critique patriarchy and resist the system of male dominance. Gender is one of those arenas of struggle against domination, and hence an arena of ideological struggle. Put an understanding of media together with feminist arguments for sexual equality, and you get the anti-pornography argument.

The need for a consistent analysis of power

Leftists who otherwise pride themselves on analyzing systems and structures of power, can turn into extreme libertarian individualists on the subject of pornography. The sophisticated, critical thinking that underlies the best of left politics can give way to simplistic, politically naïve, and diversionary analysis that leaves far too many leftists playing cheerleader for an exploitive industry. In those analyses, we aren’t supposed to examine the culture’s ideology and how it shapes people’s perceptions of their choices, and we must ignore the conditions under which people live; it’s all about an individual’s choice.

A critique of pornography doesn’t imply that freedom rooted in an individual’s ability to choose isn’t important, but argues instead that these issues can’t be reduced to that single moment of choice of an individual. Instead, we have to ask: What is meaningful freedom within a capitalist system that is racist and sexist?

Leftists have always challenged the contention of the powerful that freedom comes in accepting one’s place in a hierarchy. Feminists have highlighted that one of the systems of power that constrains us is gender.

We contend that leftists who take feminism seriously must come to see that pornography, along with other forms of sexualized exploitation -- primarily of women, girls and boys, by men -- in capitalism is inconsistent with a world in which ordinary people can take control of their own destinies.

That is the promise of the left, of feminism, of critical race theory, of radical humanism -- of every liberatory movement in modern history.

Thank you, Rick Rubin.

2008-09-29T00:45:00.000-07:00

Dear Rick,

Over the years, you have produced a great many of my favorite records. From DMC and Public Enemy, to Slayer and The Cult.

I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate you giving Metallica their balls back.

This is their best music since the eponymous "black album" was released (which is better than most people give it credit for when compared to their atrocities in the years that followed it). The improvement is not a difficult stretch, but in our little realm of music we can finally raise our heads up and not be embarrassed after the last seventeen years.

DEAR GODS... SEVENTEEN FUCKING YEARS, Rick.

I was immensely skeptical when my friend brandished the CD to play in my car. I thought my friend was insane. I thought he had finally gone off the deep end. I thought "There is NO WAY IN HELL I will listen to more than a few minutes of this shit in my car." We drove around to various places and we listened to almost the whole thing. AND I ENJOYED IT. Believe me, I am more astounded than anyone.

The new album isn't perfect. I have some minor gripes. There's "The Unforgiven III", which is a theme they can't seem to let go of. Hopefully it dies with this album. James' voice is still... well, not the old James. His "singing" and COUNTRY TWANG I can do without, but I cannot deny that it seems you lit a fire under his ass. You have given Kirk the reign to really make things go. And you even seem to have fixed Lars' snare drum. It's not perfection, but it's a step in the right direction. Nay, it's a goddamned LEAP.

I like to picture the conversation you had with them going something like "Guys, look... I don't know if you realize this, but you suck. You sound like a country rock band. WTFFFFF." After which, you say "So, there's this band that I've produced over the years, and they've been around for just as long as you. They're a bunch of old farts, especially Tom (who can still shout your ear off), but they are far more metal than you have ever been, even now. Maybe you've heard of them. -- Like them, YOU WERE A THRASH METAL BAND. And you will be once again. Trust in me. I would like to guide you down the road to redemption."

I can hear various influences in the new album. Riffs that sound like Megadeth. Slayer. Machine Head. Even Prong. There are guitar solos! There is double bass drum! There are chunky rhythms again! There are guitar harmonies. FUCKING GUITAR HARMONIES! It's like you sat them down and said "Listen to these glorious songs. You have lost your way."

From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for helping them find the path.

Please don't let them stray again.

Love,

Drew

Fifty eggs.

2008-09-27T23:03:00.001-07:00

Paul Newman died the other day.

He was one hell of a man. A humanitarian, a liberal democrat, a war veteran, a dedicated husband. Someone who I greatly respect.

I think I'm going to eat some eggs in his honor.

:)

It's official.

2008-09-21T01:33:00.001-07:00

Battlestar Galactica annoys me to all goddamned Hell. I think it's the most annoying show I've ever watched. Even Robotech wasn't this annoying. (<3 Macross/Robotech)

I've just finished BSG Season 2. At this point I'm just watching it because I've gone this far and, well, mostly because there are pretty spaceships.

Talk about the most asinine plot twists, the most frustrating characters, the most moronic decision-making... Like, this shit is just bonkers. I'm not sure how much more I can take. Just too many damned things that make me go "Wait, whaaaaaaat?" or "Oh for fuck's sake," or "Uh, okaaaaaaaay."

Ridiculous. But pretty.

Shepard Fairey gallery

2008-09-18T14:24:00.001-07:00

The other night, I cruised over to S.F. to have dinner at Edinburgh Castle (fish 'n' chips 'n' beers, oh my!) with a friend of mine. I parked my car and, as I got out, I look up and I see a whole gallery full of Shepard Fairey art.

If you don't know who Fairey is, you should check out his work. Everyone's seen the '80s Andre The Giant "obey" sticker around at some point. But that's just a drop in the bucket. His art is really awesome to behold in person.

Today a different friend IMed me a link to this SF Gate article about Shepard Fairey and his exhibition, which you might like to read.

"I could teach any 15-year-old to do what I do," Fairey said. "I learned everything I still do when I was 15 - stenciling, photocopying, printing. But that's what punk rock is about. Your technical ability doesn't limit your ability to impact people. That's empowering to people; you don't need to be an impresario."

Enjoy!

P.S. - "The Duality of Humanity: New Works by Shepard Fairey" runs through Oct. 4 at White Walls Gallery, 835 Larkin St., San Francisco. (415) 931-1500

Drinkin' & drawin'.

2008-09-17T20:56:00.000-07:00

Drank too much bourbon and doodled on bar napkins with a friend of mine last night. We wasted the stack that was in front of us and made our way through another. I have no idea how many we actually went through, but here are a bunch of 'em. There are only eight of mine here, the rest are his. I ran out of room on my phone camera halfway through our mess. :p

Old letters.

2008-09-13T20:32:00.000-07:00

"without you in my life, my every day life, i am not positive i could still be this person that i am; honest,forthcoming, respectable, trustworthy. i have always believed that a partnership should be about being more, together, than you are apart. i thought i was a good person before. i thought i was independent, sufficient, a person of note. being with you has multiplied the things i like about myself and virtually eradicated the things that i do not."

---

"and when you're in the other room, i cannot sleep. and when you leave in the morning, the bed feels empty and i can't remain in it. and so if i can't sleep in my own bed without you there, how can i sleep in a strange hotel bed when you are hundreds of miles away? -- so i write this for you, to bring you close to me; the soap and old spice smell of your neck, the soft spot between your throat and jaw, the flat spot of your chest where I lay my head, the perfect fit when you spoon against my back, the warmth of our legs entwined. -- and now, with you close, i can go back in and sleep."

---

"and though i am terrified that one day i will lose you, though i try to steel myself for that day, by holding little parts of me separate from you, i can feel that breaking down, too. as you meet the people and things from my past, as you experience all of me, all my moods, all my weaknesses, i feel my grasp on my secret-life slipping."

---

"i don't know what else to tell you. nothing i write is perfect. nothing is absolute. i can't promise to never fight with you, though i wish i could. i can't promise to never cause you pain, though i wish i could. i can't promise that i won't rock the boat, because i am sure i will. what i can and will pledge to you is that you are my priority. you are the most important person in my life. there are other people that i love, that i will never stop loving, but then there is you. you are my VIP, you are my sunshine, you are the air i breathe. you are the reason i can cry, the reason i can feel, the reason i can do anything at all. you are my muse, my passion, my inspiration, my best friend, my first thought. you are the reason my hands smell like bleach, and the reason i shave my legs. you are the reason i am the person i am, and for the past 3 and a half years that i have known you, you have built a foundation for the home i want to build with you. and though it took me longer to realize than i might have liked, you are my house, my home, my heart."

---

I'm not sure why I keep old letters. Nothing lasts. Everything changes. But the why of change is something to contemplate sometimes.

Just put that hammer down and give it hell.

2008-09-02T12:14:00.001-07:00

Last week my coworker and I were reminiscing some of our favorite older movies, and I was telling him how much I loved movies like "Every Which Way But Loose" and "Smokey and the Bandit". I love that Waylon Jennings did the "Dudes of Hazzard" theme and was in an episode or two. I love those old flicks with the old school country soundtracks.

On that note, I told him that last year my friend and I had made "East Bound and Down" our theme song when driving a big ginormous rig (well it was 13 tons anyway) to San Diego. For a few days, two comic book dorks with an MP3-filled laptop and way too many cigarettes were official American Truck Drivers. We even stopped at honest-to-goodness real life truck stops, smoking and drinking coffee in the Central Valley heat with equally sweaty and dirty men who immediately knew we were poseurs, but still felt the solidarity.

So, I played "East Bound and Down", amongst other songs, and we sang along (picture two Asian Americans singing old country hits), much to the chagrin of our other coworkers. We had it stuck in our heads all last week. Great song.

I just read that Jerry Reed died today. Bummer.

In honor of ol' Jerry, the office will just have to deal with a little homage. ;)

I feel sick to my stomach.

2008-08-30T16:04:00.001-07:00

I held out as long as I could... but it was eating away at me, so I finally listened to the new record.

Listen to that shit.

IT. IS. JUST. WRONG.

In several ways. And I don't know why, but I can't get over how wrong this just feels. It actually makes me a bit sad, to be honest.

Congratulations to Arnel Pineda for hitting the big time (all because of a YouTube video, no less). As a Filipino-American, I am happy for the guy.

But, all due respect to Arnel -- he is no Steve Perry. And his accent is killing me. CHARLATAN!

My life-long love of Journey says this is not right. Neal Schon has no idea how to move forward without getting a Steve Perry sound-alike. Or he does, but he's more concerned with making money. Or he really just hates Steve. Or all of the above.

If Mick Jagger died and the Stones threw in a Jagger sound-alike just so they could keep touring and playing their old songs, or if they put a pair of granite arms on the Venus de Milo, I would be just as offended.

Did Black Sabbath recruit a Ozzy sound-alike in 1980? NO. Did Anthrax bring on a Joey sound-alike in 1993? NO. Did Van Halen hire a Dave clone in 1986? NO! And they still released great records without them.

Why can't Journey do the same? After all, their original singer wasn't even Steve. All signs point to: Neal Schon is a dick.

BLEH.

The moment's gone, time runs out

2008-08-23T02:53:00.000-07:00

Pictures in a box at home

Scarcely here, mind astray

Cobwebs in the way

I see you dancing in my mind

It's how I think of you

I would conceal your way

Maybe this time we'll kiss and we'll not shake hands

My arms are all twisted

You've got me paralyzed

What you gonna do when they come for you?

2008-08-20T20:15:00.000-07:00

Apparently my coworker was stopped by a Hayward police officer with a couple trainees, as he walked home last night, and sat in the back of their cruiser for an hour in handcuffs while they asked him questions.

I don't know what the actual circumstances were.

All I know is that this morning, I greeted him with several choice tunes when he got into the office:

- COPS theme
- Perry Mason theme
- "I Fought The Law" - Clash
- 21 Jump Street theme
- "Breaking The Law" - Judas Priest
- "Jailhouse Rock" - Elvis Presley
- "Folsom Prison Blues" - Johnny Cash
- CHiPs theme
- Dragnet theme

Heh heh heh!

And I would expect no less from any of my pals if that had been me. ;)

Good idea / Bad idea

2008-08-19T19:32:00.000-07:00

Good idea: Opening your own health conscious and environmentally friendly fast food eatery.

Amanda's is pretty dang good, and I recommend it to anyone in the area who needs a quick, healthy bite to eat. The price is comparable to other places to eat in the area. I ate there today for the first time, ordering a veggie burger with sweet potato fries and an iced tea. Amanda herself was unhappy with the soggier-than-usual way that particular batch of sweet potato fries turned out, so she came around offering up regular fries that were baked a bit more thoroughly. Very cool. I had no complaint, as I thought everything I ate was quite tasty. The place is slowly building up good Yelp reviews, too. Dig it!

Bad idea: Failing at life.

Feels like the first time...

2008-08-18T18:00:00.000-07:00

I guess it's just the woman in you that brings out the voter in me...?

This is terribly silly.

And also awful. :P

This one's for you, wherever you are.

2008-08-16T19:00:00.000-07:00

"Shave ev'ry day and you'll always look keen"

2008-08-15T20:44:00.000-07:00

WOoohoooooOOOo! It's here! And it is GLORIOUS!

Because I hadn't shaved in several days (out of stubbornness), my beard had grown too thick for the electric razor, so I had to use my standard razor first. Call it a decommissioning ceremony. :)

Afterwards I did a quick run with the 9595, and it feels fantastic. I think this thing is my new best friend. I used to hate shaving every day with the standard razor, but this thing is great for a quick shave every day or three. YAY! Highly recommended, this beautiful piece of technology!

Here are your photos, you nags. ;)

VICTORY!

"One good turn..."

2008-08-14T14:47:00.000-07:00

In the wake of this pre-Olympic Spanish basketball team stupidness, where they posed for a photo while they pulled their eyelids back to make them slanted (supposedly to "honor" the Chinese), I can't help but wonder why nobody on the team stood up and said "Look, um, I don't know about you, but I reckon this just figures to offend some folk."

People who know me also know that I'm not the most "politically correct" person around, but still, even I can recognize a bad choice in jokes, given the circumstances. And I saw the photo--it's not even funny! It's just plain dumb.

Seems like the good thing to do would've been to say "hey, you guys can take your stupid photo, but I'M not gonna be in it" and try to get some others to follow suit. Did not ONE person there think it was in poor taste?

Maybe they could've showed them attempting to use chopsticks and awkwardly eating bowls of chow mein, with an over-exaggerated grin like Wayne Campbell. "Everybody say ZANG!" That'd be kinda funny, right?

I say the Chinese basketball teams should have their own photo op, where they wear those stupid matador hats and use their fingers to open their eyes wider, in "honor" of their jaggoff Western round-eye counterparts.

"Stop your grinnin' and drop your linen!"

2008-08-13T17:46:00.000-07:00

Am I a complete dork for wanting a pair of these, or what?

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&item=220268614627

Damnit. Now I just have to find a girl who would laugh and think this was one of the coolest gifts ever. The same girl who would likely make a fittingly badass Ellen Ripley for a costume party. I'd be going as Cpl Dwayne Hicks, of course.

A boy can dream, I guess. Sigh. ;)

"Shave it--shave it, shave it, shave it!"

2008-08-13T13:46:00.000-07:00

Hehe! Oh, Fad.

Ahem. Anyhow... I got a fancy Braun 9595 electric razor on the way! Oh, caloo calay, I'm excited!

I decided to give the electric another try, after many years of going back to regular razors, which have just become more and more annoying.

UPS is killin' me, man. It's been 6 days, and I want this thing ASAP! I can't wait! I've purposely been putting off shaving until it arrives, but now I'm afraid I'm gonna have a goddamned neckbeard before then. ;)

Stupid Olympics

2008-08-11T11:49:00.000-07:00

It was super quiet just a minute ago, and suddenly the hair on the back of my neck stood up as one of my neighbors let out a blood-curdling scream. This was followed by other screamy noises and then stomping and laughing and then cheers and hoots and hollers and what not. If the cops show up tonight, I'm gonna be pissed.

I'm assuming they're watching the Olympics, as I briefly saw it was on TV several minutes earlier, just after my DVD player decided it didn't want to play any part of the 2nd half of The Bank Job. Grrrr.

Really, all this ruckus kinda makes me feel like the only person around who could not give a flying shit about the Olympics. I seriously do not give a damn. It's only slightly more exciting than golf, so why does anyone care? I'm puzzled.

And this is coming from a guy who loves sports. I love to play specific sports (generally team sports), but I can also usually find merit in ones I don't or wouldn't play. Is that weird? Hm. I also still find a way to retain my nerd/geek/dork status among women, despite my affinity for sports. Go figure.

They have BEACH VOLLEYBALL in the Olympics now! What the hell is THAT shit?! ARGH. And the traditional stuff, I just don't give a damn about. I don't care about how much a dude can lift, or how far he can throw, or how fast he can run. I guess all this must have its place in life, but I'm not seein' it.

I think mini-golf should be an Olympic sport. And the course design should be based on the host country. There should also be Olympic air hockey, paintball, and water balloon fights. The Olypmics are fucking boring, man. BORING.

Anyway, if I have to hear one more girl swoon and scream ridiculously over that Phelps swimmer, or tell me how much she soooo wants to hump him or soooo wants to marry him or soooo wants to whatever him, I am gonna slap someone. Seriously. There will be slappage.

Apparently all you gotta do is be 6' tall with a nice body and a stupid medal for swimming fast and people throw themselves at you, even if you can't form a complete sentence, much less do it without saying "umm" or "like" every third word.

Whatever. He may rule at the breaststroke, but I bet he doesn't know shit about overprint stroke. Hah. What a useless buffoon.

:P

Battlestar Galactica

2008-08-02T13:40:00.001-07:00

I finally decided to start watching this show, and I just finished the "miniseries" DVD last night.

A couple things annoy me, right off the bat.

The constant use of low voices and whispering is about as annoying as Zack Snyder's copious use of slow motion. Am I gonna have to put up with that throughout the series?

Apparently even in such a technologically advanced society, people still get terminal breast cancer? C'mon, man. They can fucking jump through hyperspace in giant space battle fortresses, but the world of medicine hasn't advanced at all?

Probably the most annoying to me is that they are NOT from Earth, yet their language, terminology, fashion, behavior and culture are CLEARLY FROM EARTH! WTFFFFFFFFFF!

UGH. Why they couldn't have just ditched the whole "they're from another planet and are seeking the legendary Earth for refuge" bit is beyond me. If they're gonna go through and change shit, that would be just as good of a change. It was stupid in the awful TV show from the '70s, and it's stupid now, too. :P

I am probably the only person that is annoyed by these things.

Other than that, I guess it's pretty good, so far. I totally have the hots for the gal who plays Starbuck. Awww yeah!

I am a moron today.

2008-07-30T21:07:00.001-07:00

Not only did I miss my friend's going away shindig because I thought it was TOMORROW (it was actually today), but I just burned the hell outta my fingers.

Went to boil a pot of water. Had a plate on the stove top as well. Turned on the burner and did some dishes. Reached over to grab the plate and immediately realized why the water was not yet boiling...

Go me!

OH, and I just NOW realized that I took Brandon Phillips out of my fantasy baseball lineup, because the thing said he wasn't starting. So I move him and to the bench, and put Tejada in his place. What happens? Phillips DOES start, and he goes 2-for-4 with 2 runs and a stolen base. Tejada goes 0-for-5.

;AJISDG;IASDGJ;GASDJGA;DJIAMP!!!!!!!!!

Comic Con, Felicia Day, Dr. Horrible & whatnot

2008-07-29T15:17:00.000-07:00

Firstly, Felicia Day is adorable and awesome and adorable. You should watch her show "The Guild"... and also catch her in Joss Whedon's thing called "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog". Neil Patrick Harris is great in this.

-----

Another San Diego Comic Con has come and gone. I feel like I didn't get to do much while I was there, but it was still a good time, as usual. Real quick-like:

I was texting with my friend Adriann while on the freeway, finding out that she was also on the freeway as I rolled past Los Angeles, and then actually seeing her car on the freeway, and then following her car through Santa Ana before deciding we should stop for dinner in Oceanside. Truly funny and awesome.

Everyone said they were gonna boycott staying at the Hyatt hotel, because Doug Manchester, owner of the Manchester Grand Hyatt hotel, contributed $125,000 to Proposition 8, an amendment to ban same-sex marriage. Of course, everyone stayed there anyway, including my coworkers. Way to go, people. Way to go.

Speaking of the Hyatt, apparently Darwyn Cooke got into a bar fight, complete with police involvement. I missed out because I decided to drink with my friend somewhere else and watch for Padres highlights on ESPN. I'm all about bad decision-making this weekend, apparently. Also, they never once showed Padres highlights. Where's the love? Jerks.

Hung out with Marat and Bill at the Tilted Kilt sports bar, by Petco Park, drinking and sharing stories. Hung out briefly with Bill's friend Dean Lister (UFC/MMA) while he inhaled a quesadilla. Developed a major crush on a waitress named Amanda, who I will probably never see again, after exchanging many silly faces, looks and comments. See? Bad decision.

Apparently my coworkers got to meet/talk with Tori Amos, and I did not. Sadness.

But I finally got to bug Nikki Cook in person. That kinda makes up for it.

My friend Jenn and her friends all wore costumes, which prompted everyone to stop them for a photo op every thirty seconds. We saw Nathan Fillion and Joss Whedon walk by a patio we were drinking beers at. I saw Amanda Tapping from Stargate SG-1 walk by, as well. Hotttt!

Got to see my best friend from high school, Mike, and we got to do our ritual Corvette Diner night, with a couple of his friends. Before that, they talked us into watching the Buffy "musical" episode, in one of the convention center's ballrooms, full of hundreds of obsessed Buffy fans. It was one of the most annoying things I've ever witnessed. Only more annoying was the actual Buffy episode. :p

Also spent the week at my dad's, since I didn't have a hotel room this year. It was both very strange and somewhat comforting to be spending the nights there. My 4-year-old half-sister showed me her elite kung-fu skills. Trying not to think about the age difference too much, because it's a little odd. Cute little kid, though. Wish I could spend more time with her.

Sadly, I'm a moron, and I only used my phone camera all weekend. Click for some low quality photos.

Colt .45

2008-07-03T19:41:00.001-07:00

My coworker asked me if I'd seen Colt .45's ad campaign recently. Of course, I replied with "I didn't know they ever HAD an ad campaign, unless you count the empty cans on the street where a hobo had once been."

Actually, groovy artist Jim Mahfood has been doing work for them for maybe a year now, as evidenced by his art all over their website. Apparently they've recently released limited edition cans with his art on them. Pretty cool.

Anyway, if you get a chance you should check out some of Jim's books, because they're awesome. Everyone in our office loves his work, which includes Grrl Scouts, Bad Ideas, Stupid Comics, Felt, One Page Filler Man, 40oz, Kick Drum Comix (which should be out in September), and Mix Tape (which is out now). He puts on some super cool live art shows as well, so, I dunno... go to one, or some crap. :p

http://www.40ozcomics.com
http://www.myspace.com/mahfood

R.I.P. Stan Winston

2008-06-19T00:44:00.001-07:00

Wow, I just now found out about this while looking up some movie info online.

Certainly a very important part of the movie industry throughout the '80s and '90s. I'm sure we've all seen the fruits of his creativity and imagination over the years. From The Thing, Aliens, Terminator, Predator, Ed Scissorhands, Batman, Jurrasic Park... I mean, talk about some big-time movies.

Before I got into art and design and comics, I'd see these movies and see what his effects studio would create, and I'd wish that I could be part of that process. Trying to make fantastic larger-than-life things a reality. In this era of computer-rendered non-stop cuts-every-second in-your-face A.D.D. movie making, I hope people realize that not too long ago things were different, and guys like Stan Winston were blazing the trail.

Transgendered in the world of Metal.

2008-05-31T17:16:00.000-07:00

I occasionally read Decibel Magazine, and I saw something in the most recent issue that blew me away.

Dan Martinez, the vocalist/guitarist for the death metal band Cretin, is now a woman.

Can you imagine this? In a scene which is full of homophobia and flat-out hatred? I mean, it's one thing to see Rob Halford of Judas Priest, one of the godfathers of metal, come out as being gay (which is really not surprising given the latent homoeroticism in metal - and don't tell me that all those leather dudes, and sweaty dudes moshing each other, aren't kinda homoerotic). But this is courage and will to another level.

And to read a feature in a metal mag, several pages long, telling the story of Dan becoming Marissa Martinez in such a positive and supportive light. It just seems unheard of.

For once, my lack of faith in humanity has wavered just a little bit.

Click here for an excerpt from the article.

Stanley Cup

2008-05-31T17:10:00.001-07:00

Waiting for the Penguins/Wings game to start, and there was a commercial for the NHL just now. It was a montage of stills, animated akin to a flip book, showing players throughout Stanley Cup Playoff history, hoisting the Cup.

It ended with a still of Gretzky holding it aloft, and it said "It weighs 35 pounds... except when you're lifting it."

I teared up.

Jeez. Hehe. :p

Rory Root (Comic Relief Bookstore)

2008-05-20T14:19:00.001-07:00

Rory passed away yesterday. He was an amazingly friendly and generous person. He loved people and he loved comic books. He owned the best bookstore I've ever been to, Comic Relief in Berkeley.

If you've been there, you may have seen him sitting outside, greeting passersby and people coming in and out of the store. He loved talking to people about books, and he always had the perfect recommendation for you.

I once volunteered for the dubious honor of driving a 26-foot 13-ton Penske truck (which I had never driven before) 18 hours to San Diego Comic Con for him. There are very few people I would've done that for. ;)

There aren't enough people like him, and there aren't enough retailers like him, either. He was one of the best. This is a huge loss to those of us who knew him, and to the comics world in general. We'll miss him.

If you're in the area, stop by his shop. If you have any nice stories about Rory to tell, or if you just want to send your condolences, everyone at Comic Relief would be appreciative.

http://www.comicrelief.net/memories/

http://www.myspace.com/thecomicbookstore

I'm on a crazy J-pop/rock kick today.

2008-05-17T13:42:00.000-07:00

It started innocently enough.

I love Yoko Kanno, and I think she's brilliant. I started off my morning today listening to her amazing music from Macross Plus and Cowboy Bebop (one of the greatest TV shows ever -- and if songs like "Voices", "Tank!", "What Planet Is This?" or "Rise" don't do anything for you, I don't know what will)...

...and suddenly I found myself listening to Mari Iijima (who sings the songs and is the voice of Minmay in The Super Dimension Fortress Macross: Do You Remember Love? - awesome movie, great soundtrack!), Ayumi Hamasaki, Akino Arai, Yui and Nana Kitade, which made me want to listen to L'arc~en~ciel (great stuff, by the way the video for Blurry Eyes is hilarious and awesome), not to mention going through the Katamari Damacy soundtracks... and... it's just become a full-blown theme for today. I'm out of control, man.

Goddamn, I'm a fucking dork.

If you have any suggestions on something to listen to, old or new, throw 'em my way!

Yoko Kanno

2008-05-16T10:37:00.001-07:00

If I may geek out for a moment...

I thought I'd break out some music I hadn't listened to in a while, and enjoy with my lovely headphones at work. I'm listening to the Macross Plus OST (well one of several, as anime OSTs go), and I have to marvel at Yoko Kanno.

When I first saw this anime in the mid-'90s, I can't say I'd heard an anime soundtrack quite like it. Since then, she's done some very notable work (Cowboy Bebop, Lodoss War, Escaflowne, Ghost In The Shell:SAC). She is an amazing composer/musician, and I love how her music fits Macross Plus so well, though sometimes I wonder how she'd approach it if she were to have done it later in her career instead of at the beginning (as this was one of her first anime scores).

Silly as it seems, "Voices" and "Myung's theme" get me weepy every single damned time.

I think I may have to watch the anime this weekend. I really like the original Macross, and I think Macross Plus is quite good (the "movie version" preferably).

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, well... hmmm. Check out the movie Super Dimension Fortress Macross: Do You Remember Love? and then watch Macross Plus (which is a sequel that is indirectly related, and takes place probably 50 years after).

If you wanna get hardcore, watch the Super Dimension Fortress Macross series (which was butchered into a silly Americanized soap opera called Robotech, which I loved as a kid).

And knowing is half the battle...

2008-05-09T17:24:00.000-07:00

This G.I. Joe movie is starting to look like it's gonna be about as good as that Street Fighter movie that came out back in the day.

Poor Raul Julia didn't deserve to go out with that as his last movie ever.

Check out the high sweetness:
http://enewsi.com/news.php?catid=190&itemid=13234

Wouldn't it be funny if this was Dennis Quaid's last movie ever?

:P

Instead of watching the movie when it comes out, you should just watch this handful of parodies of the old G.I. Joe Public Service Announcements (and maybe look up the real ones if you're feeling extra nostalgic). I'm sure they'll prove to be far more entertaining. Enjoy:

My god, did that smell good!

Who wants a body massage?

Hey, kid! I'm a computer!

Give him the stick. DON'T give him the stick!

Mimimimimimimi--fart.

Fun time dey yah, a time fah dah bus ride.

You didn't take anything out of our tent, did ya..?

Look at all your different colored hats!

These beats are so fresh!

Too bad your ass got saaaaaaaaaaacked.

Suburban Glamour, Vol. 1 TP

2008-05-01T12:01:00.000-07:00

My friend's comic is now collected in trade paperback, and you should go buy it. Should be in stores May 7th!

Jamie's a nice young lad from the UK, and he's only getting better. I see him doing some great things in the years to come. Wouldn't you like to be able to say that you were there from the very beginning? ;)

www.jamiemckelvie.com

"Life’s tough when you’re a teenager - homework, boy trouble and meddling parents. So when Astrid Johnson has to deal with imaginary friends turned real, monster attacks and faerie magic as well - that’s just not fair, is it?"

---

Heck, while you're at it, pick up Phonogram, especially if you are a fan of the whole Britpop movement of the '90s, which is jam-packed with Jamie's lovely artwork:

www.phonogramcomic.com

“Phonogram really, really works. It analyzes the music and the movement with a passion only available to those who really loved it. It also takes the whole thing apart with the venom of those who’ve come out the other side. It’s a cheap shot perhaps, but it is true that Ocean Colour Scene were shit and Kulashaker should never have been allowed a single note in music’s history. But that is something we learn in time. The whole point of Phonogram is to celebrate the insanity of music, of the way it can make you feel and the glorious magic it can bring into your life. It envelops you, takes you deeper than any lover could and blinds you to its faults.” -- Richard Bruton, Forbidden Planet.

------

New(ish) music for the discerning listener.

2008-04-25T16:03:00.000-07:00

I recently went on a music-purchasing binge and came away with several gems. I mean, I knew they were going to be, but still. :p Anyway, these first few listed here have something in common, in that their track lists flow and weave together an atmosphere/theme/mood that's consistent from front to back.

The Black Keys - Attack & Release

If you're already a fan of this awesome band, you'll notice right away that this album is different than their last few (which is probably the influence of their producer, Danger Mouse). I personally think it'd be hard to match their previous work, and this album kind of goes in a different direction for them. Mellower, a little spacier, driven more by setting a mood than just hitting you in the face with their bluesy indie rock. I think their previous albums were more riveting, but this is definitely worth your hard-earned cash, and I think it's a fine introduction for new listeners. If you've never heard them before--CHECK THEM OUT!

Side note-- When I was at the record store, they had this on vinyl for $16 and it also comes with a version on CD... How cool is that? I wish everyone did that!

Notable tracks: "All You Ever Wanted", "Strange Times", "I Got Mine", "Remember When"

By the way, their website redesign is really cool:
www.theblackkeys.com

Jucifer - L'Autrichienne

Call me a dork, but I have a crush on Amber Valentine. She can rock like few others can -- and on this new album she does it all. Right away you may notice the title is a reference to Marie Antoinette. You'd be correct, and the album notes will reveal various reflections on her days as queen up to her beheading by guillotine. That's right, this is a glorious 21-track metal concept album about Marie Antoinette. How cool is that? It's at once an interesting, complex, heavy, poppy and kinda scary album. Somewhat unpredictable, they switch gears a lot on this record, and somehow it all makes sense. It's more like a soundtrack to the aforementioned concept.

Jucifer is sort of a metal version of Jack White and Meg White, and they've been doing this for longer, too. I will admit that their music may be an acquired taste, especially their LIVE music (which is FAR LESS poppy their studio recordings). They will melt your guts with sheer volume and intensity. They are loud doom metal in concert. Great stuff, give them a shot!

Noteable tracks: "Blackpowder", "L'Autrichienne", "To The End", "Behind Every Great Man", "Traitors"

www.jucifer.com
www.myspace.com/jucifer

High On Fire - Death Is This Communion

Another heavy in-your-face album from this Oakland trio. If you're a fan already, this album will not let you down. Right off the bat, "Fury Whip" throws you to the floor, kicks you in the face, and from there the album never lets up.

Matt Pike, formerly of the pot-influenced super stoner doom metal band Sleep, really gives these songs focus, and the bridge pieces transition excellently between songs. It all feels like it has purpose, not just a collection of songs thrown together to release an album. And unlike Sleep's music, this album does not chug slowly along.

I saw them perform not too long ago, but they're scheduled to tour again (Gigantour) soon with a rejuvenated Megadeth (yay!) and Swedish metal masters In Flames. Catch them if you can.

Notable tracks: "Fury Whip", "Death Is this Communion", "Turk", "Rumors Of War"

www.highonfire.net
www.myspace.com/highonfireslays

The Sword - Gods Of The Earth

Some of you may be familiar with this band due to the popularity of Guitar Hero 2. Their debut album Age Of Winters was actually very good.

However, this one somehow feels weaker than their first album, which was EPIC, but I couldn't help but think they missed the mark a little bit here. I think I held too high a hope of being blown away by the sheer awesomeness of their second album. Maybe it was unfair of me to have expected this one to be even better.

That said, it's definitely a lot more polished, and it's constructed well. Surely worth listening to if you're a fan of a Black Sabbath-ish style of doom/stoner rock/metal full of references to Norse mythology and all that great stuff. I certainly can't complain.

Notable tracks: "Fire Lances of the Ancient Hyperzephyrians", "The Frost-Giant's Daughter", "Maiden, Mother & Crone"

www.swordofdoom.com
www.myspace.com/thesword

The Black Crowes - Warpaint

I've been a fan of these guys since their debut, when I was in high school... wow. That seems like forever ago. The Southern Harmony and Musical Companion is one of my favorite albums ever. Anyway, I was thrilled to see that they were releasing a new album (I guess Chris Robinson had nothing else to do now that he and Kate Hudson are divorced), the first in... seven years? JEEZ, has it really been that long? It's full of their good ol' bluesy southern rock that you know and love -- only it feels more seasoned, WAY more laid back than their early stuff. There's still some of that old swagger there, but it's more focused and it just feels like they've aged well since they broke up years ago. I don't really think I can explain it any other way.

Notable tracks: "Goodbye Daughters of the Revolution", "Evergreen", "O Josephine",

www.blackcrowes.com

Clutch - From Beale Street to Oblivion

Clutch sings the blues. Yep! A rowdy, hard rockin' bluesy album. This one took a while to grow on me, I have to say. I didn't like it that much at first, but it's actually quite good. A bit mellow and less heavy-hitting for Clutch standards. I expected a bit more OOMPH, but it does have its moments. It's a solid set of tunes. And dig that harmonica solo on "Electric Worry." Awww yeah!

They've done it all, from funk to stoner jam to metal. This band is ever-evolving, and I can only wonder what they'll be infusing into their music style next.

Notable tracks: "Electric Worry", "When Vegans Attack", "You Can't Stop Progress", "Black Umbrella"

www.myspace.com/clutchband

Happy birthday Steve Clark

2008-04-23T15:12:00.001-07:00

A couple things...

I just got a copy of issue 7 of PROOF, published by Image Comics. Written by Alex Grecian, illustrated by Riley Rossmo and Fiona Staples. A pretty good comic, which is basically about a top-secret agency who's goal is to find "cryptids" (which are paranormal, things of myth and legend like fairies, thunderbirds, sasquatch, you get the picture) which either endanger humans, or are endangered BY humans. The main character is a sasquatch, who is a mix of brains and brawn, who helped found the agency.

If you're into that sort of thing, I think you might enjoy giving it a shot. I was skeptical at first, but I dig it and I recommend it. A trade paperback collecting issues 1-5 will be out soon, too, if that's more your style.

Click here for a preview from issue 2.

------

Also, happy birthday to the late Steve Clark, the heart and soul of Def Leppard.

Yeah, you laugh at me, but seriously--great musician, and worthy of being remembered, I say. Hysteria wouldn't have gone multi-platinum, nor sported SEVEN hit singles without him. They were never the same after his death. Sadly, so many of the good ones burn out rather than fade away. (Irony in those words, perhaps!)

Man, seven hit singles. I can't think of any other album aside from Thriller or maybe Born in the USA that had nearly that many. Pretty nifty!

CNN t-shirts?!

2008-04-23T15:11:00.001-07:00

So, on the oh-so-aweeeesome *cough* CNN website, there are little t-shirt icons next to select headlines. I was all like "Whaaaa?" Apparently, you can buy a t-shirt with that headline on it.

Would YOU get this on a t-shirt?

Russian missile obliterates spy plane

Or maybe: Rep calls workers 'illiterate peasants'

How about: Synchronized swimmers faint in unison

Sadly, there are no t-shirt options for these headlines:

Smog can kill you, report says

911 call: "There's an alligator in my kitchen!"

A mom's guide to birth control

Letter carrier catches falling baby

Clinton: 'I have to win'

Danica makes history -- finally!

2008-04-20T15:08:00.001-07:00

Danica Patrick is now the first woman ever to win a race in a major closed-course racing series.

I'm not a racing fan, but this is awesome news. Although I still wonder how many people, even within the sport, won't give her the respect she deserves. She's been good for a long time, and it's about time her hard work and determination paid off with a win. Even more of a reason to look up to her as a positive role model!

Music videos what are awesome.

2008-04-17T19:43:00.000-07:00

Got some time to kill? :P

Mark Lanegan - House A Home

Janet Jackson - When I Think Of You

Steve Perry - Oh Sherrie

L.A. Guns - Never Enough

Vixen - Edge Of A Broken Heart

Asia - Only Time Will Tell

Nelson - (Can't Live Without Your) Love & Affection

Warrant - Sometimes She Cries

Def Leppard - Animal

Anthrax + Public Enemy - Bring Tha Noize <3 Scott Ian

The Hooters - All You Zombies

Crowded House - Something So Strong

The Dead Milkmen - Punk Rock Girl

Starship - Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now

Erasure - A Little Respect

Twisted Sister - I Wanna Rock

Ministry - Revenge

Tears For Fears - Head Over Heels

Simple Minds - Don't You (Forget About Me)

Cyndi Lauper - Goonies R Good Enough

A-Ha - Take On Me

Modern English - I Melt With You

Thomas Dolby - She Blinded Me With Science

Men Without Hats - Safety Dance

Altered Images - Happy Birthday

Guns N' Roses - Patience

Bon Jovi - Blaze Of Glory

Nine Inch Nails - The Perfect Drug

Polygamists, stop being so damned greedy!

2008-04-16T11:30:00.000-07:00

Sheesh! I swear, it's hard enough trying to find an awesome gal who's interested as it is, and you aren't helping by taking a bunch off the board all by yourself. :P

So, anyway, I was looking at some news article mentioning a polygamist in Canada, who has 20 wives and 100 children... and I couldn't help but wonder...

...about the logistics of creating your own minor league sports team through polygamy. It's a long-term investment, but just think of the dividends! You'd never have to sign your players to contracts! The really good players/teams could be farmed to major league teams. I think there are some interesting money-making opportunities here.

Like maybe starting up a construction company. I can already see the name. "Jensen & Sons & Daughters Construction Co." They're all learning the ropes from a young age, the smarter kids could maybe become architects, the older ones grow into management positions, and it starts off a cycle of a self-contained business from top to bottom! I'm sure you can see what I'm getting at.

I'm not that smart, but I can't help but wonder how all this manpower is going to waste. I'm sure someone else out there can figure out how to make this feasible, or come up with better ideas. Anyone? :D

Greg Maddux

2008-04-14T19:17:00.001-07:00

A couple of great stories on Greg Maddux. The man's a genius and a living legend. I'm so glad he'll probably retire having last played for my hometown Padres. :)

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=3336514

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=3337786

How sweet is this?

2008-04-11T22:45:00.001-07:00

Alex Ovechkin (22 years old and lead the NHL in scoring this year) carries the Capitals to their first playoff appearance since 2003 and then scores the game-winning goal in his first playoff game.

That guy is pure energy. You can only hope a guy like that has a long, amazing career. And just look at that arena erupt!

Goddamn, I love this game.

"Oh, the river rise, and it's a mile high."

2008-04-10T20:32:00.000-07:00

Thanks to being at home sick, I finally got around to listening to the pile of music I bought at Amoeba the other day.

I pop in the Kyuss' Blues For The Red Sun, which I bought pre-owned. Turns out that the CD is actually Mark Lanegan's Whiskey For The Holy Ghost.

I'm not sure what life is trying to tell me.

:p

I hate being sick. I took the day off, which feels great. But I'm missing a day of work, making my continuous deadline juggling more hectic.

And, really, all I want is to have someone curl up on the sofa with me, keep me warm, make me tea, and watch Die Hard 4 with me. Is that too much to ask of life? :p

Hm. I haven't had cable TV in years, but I'm seriously considering getting it this week. NHL playoffs started! It's also baseball season. And I miss watching Adult Swim and the Food channel. Hm. Makes me wish I had TiVo to really use TV access to its full potential. I'm wary of becoming a couch potato, though.

But, on a day like this... well, see above. :p

Officially breaking up...

2008-04-01T10:48:00.000-07:00

Our on-again/off-again relationship over the past several years has finally come to a close. It's just not the same as it used to be. I think it was just time for change. It's not you, it's me. Wait, maybe it's you. Regardless, as I enjoy a cup of coffee, or a sip of whiskey, I may think of you. I might even miss you. (I will not, however, miss any phlegm or reek associated with you.) You may not understand this now, and I know it hurts to see me leave... But, trust me, I think you'll thank me in the long run. You'll find someone prettier and more interesting than me, I don't doubt it. I just can't go on like this, you know? I need to start over. I have to do this for myself, and I know you'll be OK without me.

Goodbye, smoking.

----------

Also, tonight, at The Fillmore... We will ROCK and it shall be GLORIOUS! :D

----------

UPDATE:
The show was good, although I had a few gripes. Firstly, Ministry played mostly newer stuff. Their entire first set, which was quite long, consisted of songs post-Filth Pig. Now, I like a lot of those songs, but they're definitely not what I grew up listening to.

Also, a 300 lb. drunk mosher blindly flew into me, causing us both to crash to the ground. While this wasn't a big deal, I did smell like him for a little while. That's what I get for always ending up at the edge of the pit.

THE GOOD PARTS... Ministry's second set was a handful of PRE-Filth Pig tracks, and the guest vocalist for them was Burton Bell from Fear Factory! Fucking awesome! Unfortunately, it was a short set, which was followed by some shitty covers off their new cover album.

Also, Meshuggah is an awesome band to see perform live. Their new album is sweet. Definitely a good night for metal, overall!

"A good hot beer shit is glorious, man."

2008-03-25T10:12:00.000-07:00

Charles Bukowski: Poetry In Motion

Happy Zombie Jesus day!

2008-03-23T11:05:00.001-07:00

Also, I just had the unpleasurable experience of seeing the trailer for The Forbidden Kingdom.

THIS is the film that finally unites Jackie Chan and Jet Li? This looks and sounds AWFUL!

SIGH.

http://www.youtube.com/forbiddenkingdom

I need to watch Hero and Drunken Master II just to get this bad taste out of my mouth.

Pure rock fury -- the solution is so clear

2008-03-14T00:04:00.000-07:00

Clutch just wrapped up the California leg of their U.S. tour, unfortunately. If you're a fan, hopefully you had the opportunity to see them. They are goddamned awesome performers, and always play a fantastic set.

And it's even cooler when you think about the fact that they've been performing pretty much every night since late February, and are going all the way through early May! These guys are troopers.

They've got Murder by Death, Maylene and the Sons of Disaster, and Hex Machine as opening acts. All of whom are worth getting to the show early enough to see.

On a completely different musical tangent, my friend Kimberly recommends a really cool band out of Sweden, who tout themselves merely as "six men with analogue synths." Slagsmålsklubben!

http://www.myspace.com/slagsmalsklubben

Very cool stuff. Check it out!

"The tide is high but I'm holding on."

2007-12-10T13:06:00.001-08:00

Surprisingly, somehow I managed to have a really fun weekend, albeit an expensive one. I might need to take it easy this whole week, to recover financially as well as to enjoy some nice time on the sofa in front of a movie rental or something.

I thought I was going to be hanging out with a friend on Friday night, but I heard no word from her, so I figured I was gonna spend another Friday night on the computer, which would undoubtedly lead to an entire weekend of doing stuff around the apartment and working/lazing about on the computer at home. A harbinger of what my weekend would become, my friends Tracy, Colleen and Joe call me up saying they're taking me to the Hustler Club in San Francisco. Feeling lazy, I hesitantly went along.

This would be my third time at a strip club. Having worked in the web porn industry for almost a decade, it always seemed kinda pointless. Joe forgot his driver's license, so he and I drove back to Oakland to get it, whilst rocking out to System Of A Down, and the girls would wait for us in the strip club. We get back and watch a few girls dance, and at one point I mention to Tracy that this one short petite girl is super cute. So, she surprises me and asks her to give me a lap-dance, which I've never had before. I got kind of a burn on my face from her bra which she wasn't afraid to press into my face several times. Life is rough, lemme tell ya. :p By the way, a bottled beer was $7 and a weak pour of liquor was $8. Ouch! Occasionally you'd see one of the dancers come over and sit in front of the girl dancing and throw money at her. It was nice to see the girls working there seemingly having fun. (Of course, I can imagine what kind of clientèle they normally have there, so they probably have to roll with it.)

Anyway, at 2am, after a couple hours of weird/expensive/interesting fun in a strip bar, my friends didn't want to go back to Oakland. So, we ended up at... The End Up. Which was $20 admission, and seemed to consist mostly of shirtless men. Joe pointed out that we had brought 50% of the straight girls who were at the club. We danced as my lady friends were getting freaked on by strange old Asian man, and some younger Asian kid. After a couple MORE hours of weird/expensive/interesting fun at a gay dance club, we finally head home.

Saturday night I had wanted to go to Annie's Social Club to see a metal show with my friend Bill. I ended up changing plans, as my friend Joe calls me up to invite me over to his friend's house for some steaks. I got to meet and socialize with several new, wacky people, eat great food, and pet dogs for a couple hours. At this point, I was still thinking of driving to SF to catch some of the show with Bill, but Joe and his friend Jason REALLY wanted to sing in a private karaoke room, so they convinced us all to go. Jason thought the karaoke place was 6 blocks from his house, and we'd just walk over there. I couldn't convince him that it was more like 20 blocks from his house, but we started walking and he found out the hard way. Thankfully Tracy shows up in her big new car to save us from the rest of the walk, and we all head over for a night of singing and idiocy. There was some minor debauchery involving a few people trading shirts, for which I had to cover my innocent eyes. I'd only done one song in karaoke before that night, and that was in front of a whole bar full of strangers. In front of a small group of friends, it was much easier for me to ham it up. I had quite the fun time belting out various Def Leppard, G'N'R, and Bon Jovi hits. Blaze Of Glory, baby! Oh, yes!

Sunday morning was a typical brunch with my small circle of friends. This time it was decided we'd go to Fellini over on University in Berkeley. I gotta say, not impressed at all. I was actually quite disappointed with the overall quality of the food, the small portions and the expensive price tag. After that, I was headed into San Francisco to meet up with my friend Jim so that we could do a little music shopping at Amoeba before heading to dinner and then the Filmore, with Kirsten and James, to see Deborah Harry perform. (Which Jim and I had already made plans for, after seeing H.I.M. perform at the Warfield a couple weeks earlier.)

Pretty fun, aside from being hit with flying elbows from a 250 lb. bearded woman, from which I now sport some bruising. Some people have no concept of space. This person, and her three equally drunk/crazy/hyper friends, were apparently the biggest fans there, and they took up as much space as possible, while STILL managing to continually bump and smack everyone around them. They kept screaming "I love you, Debbie!" and jumping all over the place and dancing around in the most obnoxious fashion. I swear, I took about 6 elbow-drops to the shoulder, a few backhands to the side of the head, and I stopped counting after the 10th time I was pushed backwards into the people behind me. The saddest part was when the large annoying one would yell "I LOVE YOU, HARRY!"

Um..... yeah. I love you "HARRY?" I sure did enjoy hearing that twenty times last night.

Also, I can't help but wonder if people like that actually LIKE Debbie Harry's music, or if they just like the IDEA of it. I don't know. But it sure did make them feel special when their CONSTANT need for attention paid off and Deborah blew them a kiss and/or would look at them while singing. Sheesh. And my friends wonder why I hate everyone. ;)

There were some women who almost got into a fight with a man because he kinda encroached upon their little corner space against the stage. Apparently he was legally blind and he had this little mini-telescope thingy to help him see, and he wanted to get right up to the stage. But these women weren't buying it, and they were willing to argue loudly with him during the first act's performance, which seemed close to escalating to fisticuffs. What the hell is wrong with people?!

Anyway, the band sounded great. Debbie did her thing. Fun was had by all. But, I have to admit, I thought the BEST part of the show was the OPENING act, Kristoffer Ragnstam. His band, which hails from Sweden, was fantastic. His lead guitarist was a joy to watch, not only showing great guitar kung-fu, but was clearly having a ton of fun on stage, too. I was really impressed, and I can be REALLY hard to impress!

We hung out at a nice little restaurant called Sauce for a drink and some chatting to close to evening out. Good times.

WHEW! What a weekend. And now for a busy week of work...

Ten years

2007-11-28T21:15:00.000-08:00

When to the sessions of sweet silent thought
I summon up remembrance of things past,
I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought,
And with old woes new wail my dear times' waste;
Then can I drown an eye, unus'd to flow,
For precious friends hid in death's dateless night,
And weep afresh love's long since cancell'd woe,
And moan the expense of many a vanish'd sight:
Then can I grieve at grievances foregone,
And heavily from woe to woe tell o'er
The sad account of fore-bemoanéd moan,
Which I new pay as if not paid before.
But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,
All losses are restor'd and sorrows end.

Mike, thanks for the photo. See, I told you, ice cream and a sunny day. It's the best way to spend time at a cemetery. I wish I could've joined you.

Dad, seriously, I still can't believe that you chose that quote. However appropriate the words themselves are, I still laugh every time... :p

Tagged -- random facts about me

2007-09-19T01:44:00.001-07:00

I've been "tagged" by Becky because her conniving evil ways know no bounds.

Apparently being "tagged" means this:

The rules are:
1. Post these rules
2. Each person tagged must post 8 random facts about themselves
3. Tags should write a journal/blog of these facts
4. At the end of the post 8 more persons are tagged and named
5. Go to their page and leave a comment telling them they're tagged

Eight random things? Damnit. I'm too tired for this. But I can already tell you that I'm going to break rules 4 and 5. If I tag anyone, they'll probably hate me forever. Maybe I'll just throw up 2 more "facts" to make up for it. OK, here goes...

1) When I was young, I had a huge crush on Susan Sarandon in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I also had a huge crush on Erin Grey from the Buck Rogers TV show. However, my BIGGEST crush of ALL was Michelle Meyrink, from Real Genius. Good LAWD!

2) I worked at an ice rink in San Diego around when I was 19 or 20 years old, and my job included driving the zamboni.

3) I had piano lessons for 10 years when I was a kid. I haven't played in a long time, mostly because I never had a living situation where I could have a noisy-ass piano, and I've probably forgotten almost everything. I remember once when I was a kid, I complained to my dad (as kids do) about piano lessons, and he said something like "Well, you didn't want to play hockey or soccer or anything." I don't remember even having a choice in the matter!

4) I didn't kiss a girl until I was 21. Yeah, I know, big surprise.

5) My first significant job (and highest paying job) was working as a production/designer/webmaster type for Danni's Hard Drive, which was a soft-core adult website. I had no experience doing web design, outside of tinkering with my own webpage at the time, but they hired me anyway. I guess they were desperate. But I'd like to think I was a great coworker and a benefit to the company. I got to meet a lot of porn stars and touch-up a lot of photos, too. Good times. ;)

6) I'm VERY happy that I don't work in the porn industry anymore. However, I'm not happy that working in comics has cut my income in half. California is expensive! ;p

7) After I moved out on my own to Los Angeles and got a job working in porn, my coworker Kathryn got me into the goth/industrial scene, where I would occasionally wear fishnet shirts and dance like an idiot. I'm sure they all hated me. If they didn't hate me for my crappy faux-goth dancing, they probably hated me for that one time I wore my Philadelphia Flyers jersey to a goth club.

8) My greatest love, who I was with for 6 years, I met in a goth chatroom on the internet. Somehow that's just hilarious to me now. And, no, I'm not goth, damnit.

9) Once when I was a little kid, my family and I were at a hotel swimming pool, and I thought I could swim in the deep end, so I dove in. Of course, I couldn't tread water, and I was too far away from the side of the pool, so I started to choke and go under. I nearly drowned, but my dad was right there, and he kinda came up from underneath me and basically shoved me the hell out of the pool. Like, I was airborne and made a child-sized wet "kathwack" sound when I hit the cement. Boy did I feel like a dumbass. But, not long after that, in a "swimming class", they made us jump off a diving board into the deep end. I thought I was going to be the laughing stock of the class, but somehow I swam just fine. Go figure.

10) My first concert was a triple-bill featuring Ministry, Sepultura and Helmet. It was... intense, to say the least. I think I was 17 years old at the time. Helmet opened, and I ventured into my first mosh pit, where I had some good ol' pushing-and-shoving fun. When Sepultura peformed, the mosh pit became some kind of Whirlpool Of HURT. Being a dumb kid, and having been in weight training and in pretty good shape, I figured I'd be fine, so I went in again. A couple songs later, I came out sweaty, unscathed and thinking "Hey, this is fun. Piece o' cake!" I didn't think about it at the time, but shortly after I came out of the mosh pit, I noticed a woman being carried out, face bloody and unable to walk. As I was standing at the edge of the mosh, someone was thrown clear over my head. I mean, I had to duck a little, but he was OVER MY HEAD. I saw a lot of broken people that night. I had blood on my clothes, and it wasn't mine. I was probably lucky I didn't end up hospitalized. Thinking THAT pit was bad... when Ministry performed, the pit was an absolute warzone. You could feel the pain emanating from it's twisting destructive mass. By that point, I had pretty much realized the whole "discretion is the better part of valor" thing. Heh. DAMN that was a great concert!

OK, so hopefully those things are good enough to qualify, because I can't think of anything better to say right now!

Nightwing #135 -- editor's note?

2007-09-14T15:28:00.000-07:00

Oopsie.

Part of me wishes the editors left that in there on purpose. Heh.

Ink trapping gripes and Tom Jane's clammy tg-string

2007-09-10T15:38:00.000-07:00

I'm becoming known in the office for getting my point across to comic creators with a visual aid, instead of typing it out and hoping they understand my email.

In a way, I feel kind of like a jackass, but I feel that sometimes it's the only way to really make people understand what they're doing wrong. I figure I'm going out of my way to help them get things done right, and I'd like to think it's appreciated. I just hope I don't seem like too much of a jerk. ;)

Here are a couple examples. These are some of the nicer ones I've whipped up. Heh.

------

Also, a recent email conversation I had with Thomas Jane.

Drew: Wow, guys... just got copies in [of BAD PLANET #3].... This thing ROCKS!

Tom Jane: Goddamnright tit does; we are using the heat an-dabd giving the extra,by gi-force clammy tg-string.

Drew: [After some time passes, unsure of how to reply].... Hell yeah!

Tom Jane: I am obviously a fucking maniac.

Heh. Oh, that guy. -- If you haven't checked out BAD PLANET, I think it's worthwhile to pick up issue 3... it's got a bunch of pages that are in glorious 3D! The issue comes with a pair of 3D glasses, and the effect is actually really cool (unlike some 3D comics I've seen in the past). Plus--and this is a total nerd thing on my part--it's printed on some awesome paper stock. :)

Bite my shiny metal ass!

2007-09-10T15:05:00.000-07:00

The new IRON MAN trailer is up... Much better quality than crap bootleg video of what they showed off at Comic Con, plus there aren't a bunch of screaming fanboys having orgasms and pissing themselves above the almost inaudible sound. Actually, this is probably better than being there at Con for the trailer.

I must say, I ABSOLUTELY HATE that they added Ozzy's vocals in there at the title splash for this new trailer. But, whatever.

For once I'm actually excited about a Marvel Comics property as a movie! This looks rad!

"Let's go to San Diego, where the crazy kids go"

2007-08-23T22:23:00.000-07:00

Photos from San Diego Con '07 are now up here:
fishlung.com/gallery/v/photos/2007/20070801_comiccon2007/

It was a pretty interesting experience this year, one which I hope to not repeat. I'm a crappy storyteller and I'm really tired, but this here pretty much sums it up:

Two weeks ago my boss Eric Stephenson asked around the office if anyone wanted to drive a truck down to San Diego for Comic Relief. They were short one truck driver, and they were getting desperate. "Sure, I'll help out," I said. I had just gone through a second surgery to remove a massive cyst from my eye socket. I was less than 100% and slightly less attractive for it, but I figured I could drive a truck. From there, it was all uphill...

I discovered that it was a 24 ft long, 13 ft tall truck. It was like Optimus Prime's little brother (I'd say Huffer, but nobody would know what I was talking about). Complete with air brakes and a bobtail lift gate. 5 tons unloaded. 13 tons loaded. It was a TRUCK truck.

Driving a truck, it can't be THAT hard... can it? My mind started to wander. Questions began to arise, so as driving day got closer, I had to get things organized with the Comic Relief guys. It's HOW big? Do I need to be certified? No? Um... It's HOW wide? It takes up the whole lane? What about insurance? You don't know? Um... What about weigh scales? I have to find a scale? Where do I do that? You don't know? Um... What do I do when I get to San Diego? Is there a place to park the truck? You don't know? Um...

Pretty disorganized from the start. Which is apparently nothing new.

I pick up the truck on Friday July 20th. I've never driven one before, but I know the general logistics. It's really long, so you have to make really wide turns on city streets, etc. You have to get used to the mirrors because they're all you've got, especially the one on the passenger side, essential for right-hand turns. I'm driving it from Penske back to Berkeley and this thing is bouncing on the 880 freeway like hyperactive child who just downed a bag of Fun Dip. The driver's seat in these trucks are really bouncy, because you need to kinda let it cushion you with the roughness of the ride. In a way, it's pretty cool, but you definitely need to get used to it. Also, there's a fucking reason why trucks go slower than cars. Have you ever tried to stop 13 tons of truck on a dime? And if the driver is going too fast and loses control either loaded or unloaded, you're gonna wish he had been going slower after he turns some poor bastard into ground round. ANYWAY. Kinda scary at first, but I managed to get it to the store and parked without incident.

Sunday night rolls around and I haven't even packed yet. I pick up some supplies and try to get as much done around the house as possible. Things like making sure my cats have enough litter and food to last the week, in case my friend Kimberly (who was gracious enough to babysit for me) couldn't check on them for whatever reason. My co-pilot, Bill Schuch (artist/letterer friend - www.billschuch.net), came over to my house around 6am and we were ready to roll out -- on 4 hours of sleep.

Bill was going to drive down in his Geo Metro death trap, so it was easy to sucker him into riding along with me. After all, what doesn't sound fun about being a truck driver, eating Power Bars, drinking coffee and Vitamin Water, chain smoking, rocking out and looking down at girls in their small cars? Especially if there's a hotel room paid for and waiting for you at the end? I could not be happier that he agreed to go, as it would've been difficult with just about anyone else. Nevermind that we already get along well and can talk about all kinds of things from cars to art, but I think the constant disorganization of everything, plus the physical labor, would've sent anyone else running. Which would've made me a sad panda. Bear in mind that we knew NOTHING about the disorganization and physical labor parts of this gig. I thought I was just driving a truck! Anyway, who knows what would've happened had I just driven alone. So, major props to Bill.

I was told I needed to weigh the truck at a scale, and apparently it was my job to find one. Okay... well the nearest one I could find that opened super early was in Livermore. So on four hours of sleep, we set out. Due to my inexperience (ie never having fucking done this before EVER), I could not find one nearer. I wish I had, because when we got to Livermore, we discovered the truck was 2 tons overweight. Now, I don't know if the CHP will bust you for that, but I figure it was not worth taking the chance. So, we head back to Berkeley, at which point it's morning rush hour traffic. We unload a couple pallets which will be delivered to San Diego and we'll pick up the next day. Then we set back out to Livermore. After eating a hearty nutritious Carl's Jr. lunch, we took some weight off Don's truck (he was the other driver) and put it on ours, since we now had a bit less weight, then hit the road again. At this point it's almost 1pm. We lost about 5 hours due to people not weighing things before they loaded the truck.

We were also quite dirty and sweaty. And we hadn't even reached Interstate 5 yet.

Though things were already starting off on the wrong foot, it was still somewhat fun. It certainly gave me a new perspective on driving. You really gotta tip your hat to the truckers who have to put up with our fragile little cars and recklessly idiotic driving on a daily basis.

Things were pretty uneventful from there. We reached the CHP weigh scale right before the Grapevine, and we got through without being stopped. We were 600 pounds over the gross vehicle weight limit. I don't know what the laws are regarding that stuff, but it seemed like they didn't care.

Fast forward several hours and we finally got to San Diego at about midnight. We found some metered parking to stash the trucks for the night and, after making a couple calls trying to figure out who's friggin' name our hotel room was under, we celebrated with a glass of whiskey and a few hours of sleep.

Tuesday morning we had to get an early breakfast and move the truck before the meters started. We took the truck to the loading dock at the convention center, and waited for one of the union guys to talk to us. We were told that we just had to tell him we were on the "expedite list" and we would get a dock number right away. The guy told us there was no list. We went back and forth with this guy, and even gave him the name of some guy above him to talk to, and I guess he didn't give a damn. So, we waited in line for a few hours, just to get a dock number.

Eventually we got into the docks, and began to unload. It took some time, some creative use of a pallet jack, and several helpful people, but we got out of there around mid-day. Of course, we had forgotten about the pallets we offloaded early Monday. Remember those? We had to go pick those up from this freight company in Miramar, and then get BACK IN LINE at the docks, wait a couple more hours, and then dock again to offload THAT stuff. After that we had to find a place to stash the truck for the week. We got in touch with Don, found a place to park, and could finally forget about the truck for a few days. By then, Tuesday was totally gone and wasted. Not something I anticipated.

Now that all that work was over, it was time to........ work the convention!

Five days of standing up for several hours at a time, talking to people, trying to sell things, describing things, chatting with creators, trying to be nice, wishing people were nicer, trying to speak coherently, trying not to be sweaty, and trying not to look like a zombie, then going out to social gatherings and trying to have fun. Quite exhausting! But the week was full of good times: It was great seeing all the familiar faces, and meeting some great people whom I've never seen in person before. It was nice having Jamie McKelvie and Kieron Gillen stay with me--officially the Team Phonogram hotel room. Ordering a drink and finding out my driver's license was expired was quite a nice touch. I still look young enough to get carded at least, right? Getting literally dragged to the '80s club that Chynna invited us to was more fun than I had anticipated. Meeting pretty girls with professional paintball player boyfriends. Getting a strange drunken hug from a clearly blitzed Thomas Jane who was going crazy at the Hyatt bar. Eating some really good Mexican food. Seeing friends' beautiful new babies. Having free breakfast every morning. Having my chest fondled by a pretty girl dressed in a Witchblade costume. Not to mention the simple act of relaxing for an hour in the mid-day sun (made even more blissful by the fact that I was drained). There's never enough time and the days at the convention go by much too quickly when you're not working.

Somehow, lost in all of this, I missed out on seeing my family and missed out on the convention itself! I only got to wander the floor for a couple hours total, which was quite a bummer. Not that I was really desperate to wade through the sea of nerd, but it would've been nice to see everything and snap pictures. The convention is just getting too damned big.

Anyway, soon enough Sunday crept up on us, and by 6pm we were saying goodbyes and tearing down the Image Comics booth area. After getting all that done, and reconnecting with Don about what we were doing, Bill and I had dinner with Chris Giarrusso, Traci Hui and her beau Damon Eckard, after which we proceeded to retrieve the truck and head to the docks once again.

We sat at the docks waiting for Comic Relief to tell the union guys that their pallets were loaded and ready for us to dock. Once they did that, we could get a dock number and eventually head in. So it was a waiting game once again. After waiting for quite a while, and knowing I was missing out on some fun at the Hyatt (including singing happy birthday to Fiona with Frazer Irving), we finally approached the front of the docking line and got a number..... only now the truck decided it wouldn't start.

Now I'm feeling like a total idiot. The union guys are probably wondering who this fuck is who can't even get his truck started. The engine wouldn't roll over, but all the lights and the stereo worked fine. After waiting 2 hours for a repair guy to show up, I find out that the truck's electrical system is "sensitive" and it "didn't like" the battery's volt reading. I have no idea what that means. Bill summed it up with what seemed to be our running theme for the week: fucked again.

The kids at Comic Relief who were troopers through all this as well, finally helped us get the truck loaded up and out of the docks -- at 3am. We were all tired and cranky and needed a good night's sleep before setting out Monday morning. Of course, that didn't happen.

Bill and I ate ham and cheese sandwiches, enjoyed some Johnny Walker black label, watched part of Lethal Weapon and chatted with Gillen & McKelvie before going to bed. We hadn't gotten any sleep thus far, why start then?

Bright and early Monday morning we were in "fuck it" mode, so we decided to take our time. By taking our time, I mean we actually got 5 hours of sleep and figured we'd be on the road by 11am. So we had breakfast, coffee and cigarettes with our British friends before heading out. We found a public scale right near the convention center, where discovered we were a ton over weight. We were not surprised.

We offloaded what we estimated to be a 2400 pound pallet at the freight company we visited earlier in the week and hoped the CHP would be cool with that. After dropping that off and stopping at an In 'N' Out burger stand (populated by droves of beautiful tan women) for lunch, we hit the road for good. The drive back to the bay area was pretty uneventful. Bill drove half of the way back, and probably would've gone further, had the Los Angeles traffic not drained his mind. Which is fine because I was actually hoping to get some more driving in. I know, I'm a glutton for punishment. But, hey, it was fun. WAY more work than I thought it'd be... I mean when someone says they need a driver, you better find out the real truth before agreeing to do the task. Anyway, we dropped the truck off at the store at 2 or 3 am, and headed back to my house to crash for the night. We of course had to unload the truck in the morning, so it was another day of sweat and toil before we took the truck back, including a tall pallet of comic short boxes that tipped the fuck over thanks to some L33T pallet jack skillz. But believe me, being DONE, saying goodbye to the truck, and driving my zippy little Neon R/T again -- it was fucking BLISS.

The truck stops, the fuel pumps, the beef jerky, the Van Halen, Setzer, Zeppelin and Lizzy, scaring drivers shitless and making them respect the truck, the Red Bulls and cigarettes in the dead heat of the central California night... it was definitely an adventure. I'm not sure about the future of Granny Lane Trucking, though. Don't be surprised if we fly down next year.

SUBURBAN GLAMOUR -- from Jamie McKelvie

2007-08-21T14:13:00.000-07:00

Just passing along the news that Jamie McKelvie is releasing a new comic in September called SUBURBAN GLAMOUR, through Image Comics. It'll be his first written work published, and he'll also be doing the art (with colors by Guy Major).

What's SUBURBAN GLAMOUR about?
"Astrid and Dave are teenagers stuck in a dead-end suburban town living uneventful lives – until Astrid gets a visit from her childhood imaginary friends, who tell her something big is about to happen. Are they real or is she crazy? Life is about to get a lot more interesting for the pair – interesting and very, very dangerous. A tale of magic, mystery and underage drinking."

Also, a couple preview images of SUBURBAN GLAMOUR for you:

Jamie is the artist of LONG HOT SUMMER and the artist/co-creator of the series PHONOGRAM, also published through Image Comics, and a very cool book indeed. In fact, here's an image of the cover, designed by yours truly:

There's also a podcast interview at Around Comics, where Jamie talks about "Phonogram, Suburban Glamour, how I got into the industry, and my complete lack of a background as an artist." Plus, the ladies will love his British accent. Unless you're British, in which case you may love his lack of an accent. Whatever. Just CLICK HERE.

You can also download an MP3 of the interview here: http://media.libsyn.com/media/aroundcomics/AroundComics_Ep106.mp3

Look for SUBURBAN GLAMOUR to hit comic stores on September 12th, and the trade paperback PHONOGRAM VOL. 1: RUE BRITANNIA to be in stores in early July.

You can find Jamie on MySpace (of course, that loser), and at:

http://www.phonogramcomic.com
http://kenix.livejournal.com
http://www.jamiemckelvie.com

http://www.kierongillen.com (writer of PHONOGRAM, don't want him to cry for feeling left out)

Enjoy!

Dawn of a new blog.

2007-08-20T22:10:00.000-07:00

“Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.” -- F. Scott Fitzgerald

It's about time. A nice, fresh new blog. I'll not sully this one with all my past entries. Not only would it be time consuming to add all those in, but, really, who gives a damn? I sure don't. A few choice ones, maybe... MAYBE... but for the most part, nobody needs to read any of the old crap. Enjoy the new crap.

Shadow of Chernobyl

2007-07-01T10:11:00.000-07:00

Jim got mad at me (sniffle) for posting his whole article on my blog. Fair enough, as I wasn't really thinking, being excited as all hell when I originally posted it back in July. Not that anyone reads my fucking blog anyway.

Go forth to the whole article, which you can find here:
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/issues/issue_98/544-Worlds-from-The-Zone

Definitely an interesting read, and will hopefully entice anyone to play what I think is a great fantastic post-apocalyptic game. And, if you do play it, check out the various modifications people have created. They might make your gameplay experience even more enjoyable.

-------

Worlds from The Zone
by Jim Rossignol

"Few games are as bleak as GSC Game World's S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl. Then again, few games have appropriated the mythology, psychology and geography of the old Soviet Union, and fewer still have made intelligent use of both real-world disaster and obscure science fiction of the 20th century. Stalker's first-person survival/horror themes exist in a space that is both real and grimly fantastical - a dimension of bending reality and of crumbling Soviet ruin. It's a singular, mysterious vision of an alternate world that exists nowhere else."